(Closed) Did your SO's mother go against the idea of you getting married? Tips?

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
4047 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Is there a way to disconnect your FB and pinterest, or at least block her so she can’t see your pins?

Perhaps shes thinks you are jumping the gun and posting too early, not giving her son a chance yo surprise you. I would try to concentrate on this feeling rather than assuming she is a nosy b*!

Post # 4
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

the solution is to immediately start pinning and and all things baby themed, just to make her panic.

Post # 5
Member
1716 posts
Bumble bee

@the_future_mrs:  I agree.

But no, my SO’s Mom was more surprised than anything. In a good way.

Post # 6
Member
3555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

My SO doesn’t want to tell his parents that we are getting engaged before spring because he thinks they’ll try to talk him out of it and he doesn’t want to hear it. In fact his dad would probably be totally fine with it, he likes me as does his side of the familly. However, his mom kinda likes me as a person, but doesn’t want him to marry me because I am not christian enough. She and her mother have spent the last 6 years periodically trying to get him to break up with me. They are very religious, but what they seem to totally miss is that my SO is not very religious and prefers to worship on his own outside the church. Neither of their husbands are very religous and we feel like they are trying to correct their own life ‘mistakes’ by living through my SO.

Post # 7
Member
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1993

@Missafraidtohope:  Nooooo you don’t have ZERO chance!! If he loves you and wants to marry you, her input shouldn’t matter.  If her input changes his mind, well she did you a favor if anything, because he is not the guy for you.

I can’t say I don’t get along with my FMIL, but at the same time I can’t say I do. IDK my woman’s intuition tells me she is not very fond of me. I’ve only tried to talk to her once about the wedding plans and she really didn’t say much. Kind of gave me some awkward looks and short answers lol! Yup that’s what I have to work with :/

Post # 8
Member
2420 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Thankfully my SOs mom loves me. Like we go to get our nails done together and hang out and such. BUT my exs mom was a wack job. Like she saw a hickey on his neck once and she pushed me behind a door and held me there and was screaming at me about the hickey. We were 19 years old and she didn’t want to believe that her precious baby boy was having sex.

Post # 9
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Perhaps she thinks you’re both too young to be thinking about this in the first place.

When I was 21, I was engaged, and my then-FI’s mother didn’t like me at all.  We went from being cordial at times, to downright detesting each other at other times. It wasn’t fun in the least.

There are people, and this may not be a popular sentiment on this board, who think it’s strange to be obsessing over wedding plans and ideas when you’re not even engaged yet. (I’ve seen too many people in love with the idea of weddings, feeling like a princess, etc etc and so focused on that aspect that the first guy who came along and offered it to them, even if they’d only been dating for a short time, they jumped at it.  IT didn’t work out well for any of them) Perhaps she is one of those people.  And perhaps she is concerned that all your weding pins will serve to pressure her son into doing something before he’s ready, or probably more to the point, before she thinks he’s ready.  Her “thank god” comment may be more a product of thinking you are both too young, as opposed to not liking you specifically.

Post # 10
Member
758 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My FI’s mom was so surprised when we got engaged it was hilarious, we had been together four years and she knew we had discussed marriage. That being said, she also feels very strongly that if you are not engaged, you shouldn’t plan a wedding. She makes fun of her favorite niece all the time for pinning wedding stuff even though she isn’t  engaged. I obviously don’t agree, but your SO’s mother could just have that viewpoint on things.

Post # 11
Member
5012 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

My husband’s parents both deeply dislike me. They’ve made snarky comments about me from the very start and when DH told them that we were going to be getting engaged in the near future (now over two years ago) his dad asked if he wasn’t perhaps being a bit too hasty because “Do you really want to marry her?”

It made not a blind bit of difference. If he wants to marry you, he will. If he gives in to his mum on this one, do you really want to marry him???

Post # 15
Member
479 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My husband ‘s mom and I was okay all th way up to her moving to GA and the planning started and she started feeling left out… And shit got real! We got into it over a damn ass misunderstanding about a cake ‘We’ were paying for.. She told me I was a telling her lie’s because I told her I wanted to change something about the cake and to see if it was going to be more money on top of what we already paid… And she for whatever reason didn’t understand any of that! Lord…. But later I found out, she was feeling left out and unneeded and so on… We got over it and huged it out. We are working on us now.. She wasn’t trying to stop anything but she felt really felt out because of space

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