Post # 47
Our wedding was magnificent. But sadly there was an ending of a friendship (I suppose you could call it that).
The person who introduced my now husband and I when we were 16 was asked to be in the bridal party. She hadn’t really been a good friend, she lied a lot throughout the years that I knew her, and she was always doing these little weird things to suggest that she and my now husband had something going on. They never dated or anything.
Well the weekend of the wedding the girls were all together and we were talking about how I used to sneak into my now husband’s window. Well she mentions that she also used to sneak in through his window…but when confronted by my now husband later she changed the story to say she had said she went to his house to study (which they had). This was years ago anyway, and even if they had dated it would be fine. But to imply they had things going on time after time just to rile me up, and the day before our wedding was just too much. So we sent her home. Maybe a little drastic, but the weekend was flawless and part of me knows that it was for the best.
At first I was angry at my now husband for not telling me about this, because I was clear that of all things I did NOT want any past things to come up at the wedding about cheating or what have you, that it was one thing to be upfront and deal with the past, but it had to be done before the wedding. That we needed to go into it with clean slates etc etc. My Maid/Matron of Honor was brilliant and helped me to realize that it my husband hadn’t done anything at all and this gal had done this to me for years and that it really was my responsibility for inviting her even though I knew she treated me badly.
So lesson learned. Friendship done. Great wedding and really all of our friends and family came together and it was wonderful.
Post # 48
The wedding ruined one friendship–between my supposed BFF and I. We met in high school 17 years ago, and were pretty much inseparable from the first day. Over the years, however, as I’ve moved away for school and moved in with Darling Husband, we’ve been drifting apart… but were still pretty close, calling/e-mailing/visiting when possible.
Anyway, back in 2010 ‘BFF’ found out she was pregnant by a guy she had just began dating a month prior, and things moved very fast with them. By 6-months-in she moved 4 provinces away, and began to cop a ‘holier-than-thou’ attitude. Darling Husband (then FI) and I had ‘separated’ just before she moved, and she began to bad-mouth him, and belittle the 9+ years we had spent together. In the end Darling Husband and I worked things out (obviously), and when it came to choosing my bridal party, I decided against having BFF stand with me. She took great offense to this, because we had apparently “made a pact” in high school about being in others weddings. Apparently she didn’t take into consideration the fact that she lived thousands of miles away, she bad-mouthed my relationship/groom, and the fact that people/things change over almost 2 decades!
Needless to say, even though she was invited to the wedding (sent both an STD 9 months prior to, along with an invite), she didn’t even bother RSVPing, and has been posting passive-aggressive things to Facebook out ‘true friends’, and other BS. Not one comment has been made on any of our wedding photos, not a “congratulations!” given. And I really don’t give a hoot.
Oh, and I’m not the only friend she’s alienated, either. She did the same thing to our other good friend (who is actually her cousin! Looking back on our entire friendship, she was definitely very selfish and bossy. I’m kind of sorry it took me so long to see it.
Post # 49
i am so sorry for what happened. I think you need to continue to have some space from your sister to heal…
In terms of how you look/felt on your wedding day…would it be at all possible to save up a little money, get your hair/makeup done again and do a photo shoot with your husband all dressed up in your wedding attire? My esthetician told me she did this and it was so well worth it.
Best wishes to you.