Post # 1
I’m looking through ceremonies and I really detest this whole ‘who gives this woman’ thing. It’s dreadfully dated, and I’m not an object. =/ While I have nothing against my dad walking me down the aisle, since I have no obligation to honour that part (is it religious or something?), I’m going to skip it. I’m just looking for the best way to do it.
Anyone else skip/plan on skipping this part? How are you handling it?
Post # 3
I’m going to have my mom and possibly one of my brothers walk me down the aisle, but they won’t be “giving me away” as I am nobody’s property to be given. My view is that unless it’s a part of a religious ceremony that you MUST adhere to, anything is skippable or changeable – it is, after all, YOUR wedding.
Also going to ask that the “you may now kiss the bride” is changed to “you may now kiss”.
Post # 4
My father does not want to walk me down the aisle or give me away, for many reasons. I agree with him. I never realised our decision would cause so much grief… people have been so critical, have suggested that we have had a falling out, have said that I am disrespecting him or he is disrespecting me… it’s crazy. I just hope that we are strong enough to stick to our mutual decision.
Post # 5
Right now, my plan is to have my fiance walk down with both of his parents, and I’ll walk down with both of my parents. It’ll be about sharing a moment with our parents and bringing our families together for the ceremony, and definitely not about my family “giving me away.”
Post # 6
@MissCalifornia: “unless it’s a part of a religious ceremony” ironically, this was one of my Father and my objections… the giving away of the bride is NOT religious but traditional, although it has been incorporated into Christian ceremonies for a long time. We both felt strongly that we should move away from retrograde traditions and focus on the spiritial/religious elements of marriage.
Post # 7
I’ve wondered the same thing. TBH I kind of understand the origins of this tradition but is someone would like to explain it to me, I would really appreciate it.
We haven’t picked our ceremony place yet, but being as FH’s parents are incredibly religious (at least to me they seem over the top) I am going to honor their preference and get married in a Catholic church.
I was thinking of asking the priest to say:
“Who has the honor of presenting this woman to be married to this man?”
But even that sounds meh to me.
Please let us know what you come up with! 🙂
Post # 8
Mum and dad will be walking me down the aisle, but they’re not ‘giving me away’, I’m nobody’s property and I have been living with Fiance for nearly 5 years now.
Post # 9
My dad is walking me down the aisle but won’t be giving me away. He said that since me and my Fiance have been living together that he already has me.
Post # 10
I think it’s sweet and traditional. We will be doing it at our wedding. I really don’t think it’s meant to be offensive, but hey, people take things in all kinds of different ways.
Post # 11
I’m pretty sure it was from way back when there were dowries (sp?) and women were considered a ‘burden’ because they couldn’t work or own property, so they were dependent on either their father or husband. They were more or less ‘owned’ by the men in their family.
I think what you’ve written sounds great! Mine will be ‘who brings Lovemelovemyhorses to marry Mr. Lovemelovemyhorses?’
Post # 12
I wanted both parents to walk me down, but the aisle wasn’t very wide, and my mom thought it should be a daddy daughter thing. it was sweet, everyone told me we practically RAN down the aisle, we were both so nervous!
Post # 13
@Rachel631: Well, I meant in general not this specific tradition when I mentioned religious ceremonies – there are certain parts of religious ceremonies that cannot be removed or altered, that’s what I was speaking of. I know the giving away of the bride is not religious (:
Post # 14
hmmm that is a good question and I’m not sure if my officiant includes that in his ceremony. If he does, my father will.
Post # 15
my parents walked me down the aisle, but our priest never asked or mentioned anything about who was giving me away. when i reached the altar, my parents gave my husband a hug/kiss and then my dad placed my hand in my husband’s hand and that was it. we had a catholic wedding, if that matters.
Post # 16
My mom my dad will be walking me down the aisle. I don’t consider it as giving me away as Fiance and I have lived together eight hours away from my parents for a year.