(Closed) Did you/will you invite sibs’ in-laws to your wedding? [drama, long]

posted 7 years ago in Family
  • poll: Did you/will you invite your sibs' in-laws to your wedding?
    Yes -- all of them. Doesn't everyone? It would be rude not to! : (11 votes)
    13 %
    Yes -- all of them, but it's uncommon as far as I know. : (7 votes)
    8 %
    Some of them yes, some no, based on our personal relationship with them. : (22 votes)
    26 %
    No -- but there are special circumstances. I think most other people do. : (2 votes)
    2 %
    No -- don't know any of them well enough, and doesn't that seem kind of gift grabby besides? : (43 votes)
    51 %
  • Post # 3
    3773 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 1999

    Not common at all in my circle. I would never expect my in laws to be invited to either one of my sisters’ weddings.

    Post # 4
    2204 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    It would really depend on the relationship.

    For example, I have one sibling and my Darling Husband also has one sibling, neither are married so we haven’t encountered this yet but I would have probably invited their in-laws just because we’re a close family and had a fairly good sized wedding.

    However, if there is no relationship and it is a small wedding, it is completely unreasonable to demand an invite. 40 people is not alot, it’s really not. That’s like only 20 couples- bride and groom have parents, a few siblings, some close family and friends- there’s 40.

    Furthermore, their behavior is TOTALLY bizarre. It’s just wrong to create that type of drama. The bride and groom made a decision, they should respect that. What do they want to get out of it- an invite to a wedding their aren’t welcome at?

    Post # 5
    10288 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Unless the inlaws are particularly close with the bride and groom, they absoutely do not need to be invited. My SIL’s parents were at our wedding (in the hotel room, not the actual ceremony or reception space) because they were watching our niece but they certainly weren’t invited. We hardly know them and we had a strict “no strangers” policy. Younger sister and her inlaws sound like a bunch of whineasses. 

    Post # 6
    2107 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    We’re inviting my brother’s in-laws, but that’s just because they’re pretty much family to me.  They have been super supportive of my brother since he met my SIL, and they were just as upset as we were when my mother passed away.  I wouldn’t dream of not inviting them, but I know that we have a special relationship – Fiance was actually surprised when I said that they were most certainly not on the “cut list” for invites to the wedding.  That being said, they were not expecting an invite, and were surprised when I mentioned that of course they were invited.  For your friend’s Brother-In-Law to be freaking out is way out of line and quite honestly, odd. 

    Post # 7
    705 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Oh I misread–I thought you were talking about inviting your sibling-in-laws–like your brother/sister’s spouse–and I was like WTF?  Why does this crazy zilla want to exclude her sibling’s spouses?

    So–put me down for a no freaking way and take one vote off of the yes.  I mean, if I were close to them and would want to invite them, then I would.  But if I’ve met them once and barely know them, why would I invite them?  Why would they even want to go? 

    And since it’s such a small wedding that is out of town–it’s insane that her sister and Brother-In-Law are freaking out about this–it’s obvious that it’s close friends and family only.  Insisting that her in-laws are invited to this is more than a little bit crazy.

    Post # 8
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I think it really depends. In some cultures and families, a sibling’s in-laws are considered part of the immediate family. But I don’t think this is the norm in American culure. Honestly, I never would have even thought to invite them because I would consider them my sibling’s family, not my family.

    Post # 9
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    My sister politely asked early on that her in laws be invited. Just her Father-In-Law, Mother-In-Law and Brother-In-Law. I agreed. I only met them twice? And they barely know my name. But their granddaughter (my niece) is in the wedding so I thought they may want to come see her flower girl debut so I agreed to invite them. They ended up not being able to attend.

    On the other hand. My Future Sister-In-Law is supposedly allegedly getting married next year and I would never expect her to invite my family.

    Post # 12
    2104 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I invited my BIL’s parents, but not just because they’re related to my Brother-In-Law. I invited them because I had personally known them many years and we had shared holidays with them at my sister’s house at least once or twice over the years. I would not have invited them if I’d only met them once.

    I can’t imagine why they’re butthurt about this. People are weird?

    ETA: I actually thought maybe it would be weird for me to invite them. I’d hoped they didn’t think I was just trying to gift grab, and I asked my sister’s advice before I sent the invite.

    Post # 14
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    Haha I definitely did NOT. My brother’s inlaws are INSANE. Like probably clinically. Like we were amazed that no one got punched at their wedding. I avoid his inlaws at all costs and there is no way in hell I’d have invted them to our wedding. 

    Now, if I had any kind of relationship with my brother’s inlaws and/or liked them well I guess I would have. But I would never invite them purely by merit of them being his inlaws, I’d only invite them if our personal relationship merited an invite. 

    Post # 15
    5494 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Yes we invited all the siblings’ in laws to our wedding regardless of their relationship to us personally.  They are considered part of the extended family and we thought it would be rude not to invite them.  We also saw it as an opportunity to build closer relationships with them.

    Post # 16
    612 posts
    Busy bee

    My sisters aren’t married but they’re both in long term relationships. I would have never ever even THOUGHT of inviting their boyfriends’ parents. That would just be totally weird, in my opinion!

    The topic ‘Did you/will you invite sibs’ in-laws to your wedding? [drama, long]’ is closed to new replies.

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