Post # 1
Member
7 posts
Newbee
My husband and I just got married this summer and a couple that was at our wedding has invited us to their wedding next month. I can tell from the invitation and the venue that this is a very high budget wedding (ours was not). I was looking at their wedding website and saw that they’re registered at 4 places, several of the registries are HUGE, they include lots of big name designers, most items are very expensive. The few items that were under $100 have already been purchased. This couple is fresh out of college, so are most of their friends, so I’m already looking at the registry thinking “this price range might be a little inconsiderate.” I found my list from doing thank you notes because I couldn’t remember what they gave us, and I thought it might make me feel better about spending a lot on their gift…turns out I didn’t remember because they didn’t give us a gift at all, not even a card. What kind of person goes to a wedding empty handed, and then 6 months later registers for every Vera Wang piece of china under the sun?
Several of our friends didn’t give us gifts, and I will still bring a gift to their weddings in the future, because that was how I was raised and I just assume money was tight for them at the time…but this really rubs me the wrong way.
What would you do?
Post # 3
Member
2691 posts
Sugar bee
Worst case scenario is they intentionally didn’t bring you a gift or card. Best case scenario is the card was lost, not recorded, or they just forgot to bring it. Regardless, what’s done is done and you should take the high road. Bring a card to their wedding at the very least. It’s up to you whether to include a gift. Personally, if I included a gift, I would write a modest check and ignore the registry.
Post # 4
Member
3672 posts
Sugar bee
@CrazyCatLady88: I would just bring a card, simple as that
Post # 6
Member
2380 posts
Buzzing bee
I would bring a card, and a gift card to one of the places they registered at.
Post # 7
Member
11760 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
@CrazyCatLady88: I honestly never understand people who get peeved over what people choose to register for. If you don’t want to purchase off the registry et something else or give them cash or a gift card. It’s nothing to get upset about. A registry is a wish list. If they want Vera wang china they can wish for it all they want, doesn’t mean anyoe has to buy it.
Post # 8
Member
2000 posts
Buzzing bee
@Payless: +1
How rude that they should show up at your wedding empty handed and then ask for an expensive gift themselves only a few months later! I wouldn’t dream of buying them anything. Nuh-uh!
Post # 9
Member
841 posts
Busy bee
@CrazyCatLady88: Is it possible they didn’t bother with a gift because they figured their wedding was coming and you’d be attending so the gifts would just cancel eachother out? Just a thought.
Post # 10
Member
7274 posts
Busy Beekeeper
@CrazyCatLady88: I would bring a card with whatever the cash amount I would have spent had they had a more thoughtful registry.
Post # 11
Member
2972 posts
Sugar bee
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
Bring a cash amount you are comfortable with + a card.
Post # 12
Member
2000 posts
Buzzing bee
@MrsWBS: Really, you don’t have to buy stuff off the registry? I learn something new every day. I thought it was either buy from the registry or don’t show up at the wedding (or show up empty handed which is quite rude where I come from).
In my defence, a wedding registry is still a fairly new concept in my country. While some stores offer it very few people actually use it – I don’t know anyone who has or intends to. Most people ask for money.
Post # 13
Member
421 posts
Helper bee
I completely agree that it’s rude to only register for expensive items. There are tons of nice kitchen gadgets everyone needs that are less than $20. I would never expect everyone attending my wedding to spend $100.
Post # 14
Member
12259 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
I would give them just a card!
Post # 15
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
MrsWBS +1
If there’s nothing on the registry within the price range you want take the money you were going to use to buy the gift and stick it in a card.
Post # 16
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee
@MsMeow: A registry is just a guide so people know what you could use/ what you might want. It is not obligatory.
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