(Closed) Didn’t get an e ring

posted 9 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I know a lot of brides who didn’t get an e-ring; it can be a big expense, especially with the way our economy is today.  I would simply let them know that you had decided against an e-ring in favor of something more suitable.  If they persist, remind them that opinions are like… y ou know what, everyone has one!

 

Best of luck!

Post # 4
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

How rude!  He was sweet enough to respect what you asked for!  Would that all men were so nice!!  I would simply tell these people (the ones who insist that you should have gotten an ering) that material things don’t prove you love someone and you feel bad for girls who get erings, and they’re FHs don’t even mean it.

Post # 5
Member
364 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

You do not under any circumstances have to explain the choices that you and your FH make to anyone!  If they still insisit on saying hurtful things like your Fiance is cheap, I would simplly tell them that that is very hurtful and you appreciate them keeping these types of comments to themselves.  It’s totally cool and quite awesome that you and your FH were able to strike a balance with your finances and desires! 🙂

Post # 6
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2009

People are are just inconsiderate sometimes.  I do not have an engagement ring, since I proposed to my Fiance.  It’s usually the first thing people look for once they hear I am engaged and I proudly tell them that I don’t need one, that I proposed to him and that we’re happy to be saving the money for the wedding.

 Keep up your positive attitude and smile!!  It’s your life and how you guys spend you money is up to you!

Post # 7
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I have a friend who is Seveth Day Adventist- they typically don’t wear jewelry (some do make exceptions for wedding bands) so she has neither an ering nor a wedding band.  She does get remarks from people who don’t understand.  Granted she has the arguement that it is her faith that prohibits it, but she still gets comments.

If I were you I wouldn’t bother pointing to the car or the furniture- because that makes it seem as though you could have gotten a ring or a car.  You simply didn’t want a ring so you spent the money on the car.  It’s not like you chose between them.

So when people ask just say you didn’t want one.  Can’t really argue with that!  What will they say, "Yes you did want a ring!"

Post # 8
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I wanted to use our money for our wedding since we paid for it ourselves so I just got a nice fake one for the wedding and pics. No one ever knew the difference. My husband surprised me on valentine’s day with a nice diamond band that I can wear to work instead of my plain titanium band.

I would just tell those people that you opted for a car since a ring can’t drive you to work..lol.

Here is my fake ring, our families didn’t even know it was fake.

[attachment=134988,5427]

Post # 9
Member
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I don’t have any great solution for you. But my dad bought my mom a car instead of a ring. He’s since bought her plenty of diamonds so she tells people she made out better in the long run. If you are happy that’s all that matters.

Post # 10
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

It’s amazing how rude people can be about matters that have nothing to do with them — especially when an engagement or wedding is involved! I agree with lreighard1 that no explanation is required at all. It’s really none of their business what you and your FH do with your hard-earned money.

Post # 11
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee

I told my finance I didn’t want an engagement ring too, and he respected my wishes.

Most people have accepted it when I tell them that I just don’t want one. Only one or two have pressed the matter and I just tell them repeatedly that 1) it’s not my style and 2) my mom and grandmother didn’t have e-rings either, so it’s not a big deal in my family.

My finance is convinced that his friends all think he’s a cheapskate. But I think they know that I’m a pretty non-traditional girl and accept that I like to do things differently.

Post # 12
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I didn’t get one either though I did get a set (necklace and earrings) of sapphire solitaires.  I didn’t want a ring until our wedding day.  Even though my engagement jewelry is gorgeous and he picked it out, people still react very oddly.  And even though I don’t really care what people think, it does bother me that people don’t really say anything about my jewelry even though I know they would ooh and ah over an ering (that very likely would’ve cost less).  Not that I care about the cost, but just that I totally get what it’s like to have people think your FH is a cheapskate and how irritating it is to have people think that of him. 

As far as dealing with it, it’s hit or miss whether I tell people I got the other engagement jewelry.  And when they ask, b/c they almost always ask, I just joke that I told him I’m not wearing a ring until he does.  Those who know me well or who aren’t stuck in the 18th Century seem to get it at least.  One friend’s Girlfriend laughed and said that was so great b/c it was totally us…which I really appreciated.

Post # 13
Member
42 posts
Newbee

Wow, it’s amazing how weddings just take the filter off people, and they feel they can say out loud anything that comes to mind. When people are downright rude, you don’t owe them anything more than a cold stare.

Post # 14
Member
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009 - St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House

Oh my gosh, people can really be so rude!  I’d just be honest — he proposed sans ring, and you’re looking forward to figuring this out together!

Post # 15
Member
674 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Um…..what…even if it was a $6,000 car….compared with even a pricey $2,000 ring? How the #&@% is that cheap??

People are ridiculous. Tell them to shut their mouths 😀 😀

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