(Closed) Didn’t get gifts

posted 9 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Quick question: Did you have any showers? Several people who gave us gifts at a shower didn’t give us a wedding gift (which was fine with us).

Post # 4
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I think the general rule of thumb is that you have a year to give a wedding gift. And I know a lot of people don’t like to take a gift to the wedding. Perhaps they’ve forgot. Or like amysue said, if they gave you a shower gift, maybe they considered it for both the shower and wedding. Otherwise, I would probably attribute it to the economy.

Post # 6
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

While I usually gift right away, the general rule is that you have a year to do it. If you are two months out I wouldn’t be super offended just yet. If certain people have already given a shower gift or something, I think that’s totally fine if they are strapped for cash to only give one gift. But honestly I don’t think the economy is an excuse to attend someone’s wedding and not give them a gift at all. IMO, you just don’t do that. I don’t care if you’re Out of Town and have to travel and stay in a hotel or any of that. You don’t have to get some over the top expensive gift, but you GIVE A GIFT, no matter how small, if you go to someone’s wedding. Period.

Post # 8
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Interesting. I can’t imagine seriously giving a wedding gift a YEAR later. Although that is what etiquette states, it just seems like the last thing anyone would be thinking about a year out!

Post # 9
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

That does sound very odd that 1/2 the guests didn’t get you anything! But I will add that I never send a gift before the wedding unless it’s for a shower. Also, to play devil’s advocate, some people (not me) argue that etiquette states you actually don’t have to give a gift at all. I think that phenomena would be more cultural though and you would know about it ahead of time.

Post # 10
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

IMO if they didnt give you a gift at the wedding, the chances of them giving you a gift after the fact is low, not saying it doesn’t happen but i think the chances are pretty low

Post # 11
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

You have a year, but who takes a year? I remember my Fiance (before he was my FI) telling me this… only it had been 14 months since the weddings he had taken me to and he hadn’t given a gift yet. Chances are anyone taking their time to give a gift after the wedding isn’t giving a wedding gift. I have always given a gift at least a month before, unless I brought cash to the wedding itself.

Post # 12
Member
584 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Not to panic you, but is it possible that some gifts were lost, stolen, or sent to the wrong address? That does sound pretty odd to me. If I were you, I’d send out thank you notes to everyone who came, thanking them for coming – they serve the purpose both of thanking your guests for celebrating with you, but they also will raise a red flag if any guest gave a gift that you never received.

Post # 13
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Hmm, I would be wondering about this as well!  We had 4-5 guests not bring gifts to our wedding, and we realized it right away.  Seems so strange.  It’s hard to follow up on that in the case something happened to the gifts, if people really just didn’t purchase them!  Is it common for people in your circle to send gifts late?

Post # 14
Member
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Wow! We only had one guest not bring a gift to the wedding who came. And he was a poor college student! I only know this b/c i had to go through my wedding address book and write in who gave me what so I could keep it straight. Maybe they got stolen at the reception? It just sounds weird. i mean, i thought almost everybody brought a wedding gift!

even the guests at my showers brought wedding gifts with their husbands. can you look on your registry and see who got you what, then match that up with what you received? that might tell you something. For my Williams-Sonoma registry, I can tell who got me what gift

Post # 15
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

I am in a similar boat.  I had about 5 couples out of 50, not bring a gift.  I’m wondering to myself whether I lost them or whether they just dind’t bring them?  Half of them are out of town.  I was told if someone has to book a flight and accomodatoins, then their presence is your gift.  is that true?  And is it ok to send them a note saying:

  "Hey, I was so happy to have you at my wedding.  I was giong through the gifts and I may have lost yours.  Its ok that you dind’t bring a gift but I wanted to check in just in case."

 I’m more concerned if they spent a lot of money, or wrote a big check, and wonder why we didn’t send a thank you note.

Thanks!

Post # 16
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

about 25% (1/4!!) of our guests did not give us gifts.  of those people, about half did not even bring or mail a card.  i think its tasteless, but not everyone does (obviously).  Our wedding was about 2 months ago and still no gifts.

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