Post # 1
So as soon as I was engaged, the whole family and relatives were very happy and eager to participate in it. I was glad for all the help I could get… at that time. But now things seem to have gone out of control. There is a mountainful of issues that I’m slowly and dangerously trying to climb over, but I’m stuck with this one:
My cousin is a novice baker and has offered to bake my wedding cake for $400. She was studying culinary arts and she said that she helps out in a friend’s bakery. I said yes at that time after I tried one of her cakes. It wasn’t bad at all. As a matter of fact, it was good for a little happy birthday cake. I didn’t think much of it….. UNTIL I recently start to hear things about her not really helping out in that friend’s bakery at all, her cakes are crooked and childish (at best), and she’s never actually done a wedding cake before. I’m not one to listen to rumour, but this is coming from my own relatives. She even gave one of my aunts a dose of her attitude when my aunt made a birthday cake for my uncle. She was absolutely pissed that she wasnt asked to make the cake, claiming she wasn’t aware that a cake is needed (at a bday party), and she did nothing else all night but bitch and ridicule my aunt’s little bday cake.
Now I know it’s not kosher to unask anything from anyone, but I think you might agree that this is an acceptable exemption. I’m so stumped on how to handle this! Pls help! I need to be as diplomatic as possible. She’s still family, but I really don’t want her to do my wedding cake anymore.
Post # 3
@Quixotic: Maybe the cake she makes is the groomsmens cake? and u get another one for the “wedding cake”? Just a thought 🙂
Post # 4
Is there anyway you can ask to see wedding cakes she’s done at the bakery she helps out in? I know you said she’s lying about that but maybe that would make her realize she’s in over her head since she doesn’t know you know she’s lying?
If you can’t trust her I feel you have to tell her you’re choosing to go with a professional otherwise you might end up with a cake you are not happy with. Good luck
Post # 5
Lie. Have one of your friends (who won’t spill the beans to her) “buy” your wedding cake as a gift. Explain to her how important it is to your friend to do this for you, and tell her she already has it figured out and deposit paid, that she can;t get back. Just make sure you HAVE a baker secured before you offer this info. Ask her to make a special cake maybe for the engagement party, or the grooms cak as suggested above.
Post # 6
@JRL2012: I thought of that, but my fiance refuses to have a groom’s cake. He said if we’re buying a more expensive, better tasting wedding cake then it should be the only cake at the wedding. I thought about having her do cupcakes for my bridal shower instead. What do you think? And maybe a sweets basket for my flower girls and ring bearers. Should this be enough?
@xicaB: Yes, I did ask her. She kept saying she’ll email me pictures but I never got them. I think I’ll be happier with a different baker, if only to clear my mind of doubts and apprehension.
Post # 7
@Take The Riens: You’ve read my mind! Only I was going to use my future Mother-In-Law as she’s the cake afficionado and she agrees with me going to a more reputable baker.
Post # 8
@Quixotic: I think the cupcakes is a great idea! And the baskets! And yes that is enough 🙂 I wouldn’t take anything away… As someone that has dealt with soooo many people with my wedding I advise against it! But rather replace what she is doing so she stills feels included and you both can be happy 🙂 No fights= Less stress haha
Post # 9
Its your day and you don’t need the added stress about your cake. If you feel more comfortable going with someone else I think you should. I agree with PP about telling her someone surprised you with the offer to purchase your cake.
Now, in her defense I have never been to culinary school and can’t bake a cake at all, but I can decorate the hell out of a cake. I took the Wilton classes at Hobby Lobby and I do all my coworker’s bday cakes and their kids bday cakes as well. I have to use cake box mix but I know if I try to make a cake I probably could.
I guess it depends on what kind of design you want but like I said before if you gut is telling you to go with someone else, I think you should
Post # 10
I’m sorry but you are paying $400 to someone who has never done a wedding cake before? I had a 3 tier cake done by professionals that cost less!
I would avoid the stress and go with a baker instead. Say she does do your cake and something goes wrong, you don’t want to add family drama to a stressful occasion. And since she has been unable to provide pictures or more information, you can just say you decided to go another route because it doesn’t seem like she is all that interested.
Post # 11
Tough love here I’m afraid. Don’t feel you need to compromise on your cake to make her feel ok. It’s not as though she is baking the cake for you as a favour, she’s charging you. Just say you found a cheaper deal elsewhere, or another friend has offered to bake it as a gift to you 🙂
Post # 12
Maybe you can have someone else secretly purchase your cake, as mentioned before, but with her cake you can have the caterer cut up her cake in the back where no one can see and serve that to your guests (you said it tasted good right?).
Post # 13
You can also go with the “our vendor / caterer has included the cake in the package” my venue did & was going to have a cake cutting fee if I went with another baker!
Post # 14
Depending on where you’re having your reception – could you say that the cake “came with the package”? I know some of the places I looked at will only allow you to use their in-house baker. A white lie like that won’t hurt anyone.
I see the pp and I had the same idea at the same time! Great minds think alike. 😉
Post # 15
eek that’s a lot for a novice baker!! My beautiful cake was only $440 and that included delivery!! I wouldn’t go with her!!