(Closed) Didn't "pop the question" to my bridesmaids!!??

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

To be honest, I just asked them straight out. I really didn’t, and still don’t, see the need to make it some long, drawn out “event” to ask them. Especially because being a Bridesmaid or Best Man is an honor, but it’s also a total pain in the ass given the time and money involved…good luck finding something that works for you though, the girls will love it I’m sure!

Post # 4
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

So I actually only have 1 bridesmaid and one Maid/Matron of Honor. My cousin is my Bridesmaid or Best Man and since we are like sisters she’s always known since we were little girls that she would be my bridesmaid, so I didn’t really ask her. My Maid/Matron of Honor is my best friend, I just straight up asked her while we were out shopping together one day, she was surprised but very happy and said she would love to be. Don’t worry about tradition, I’m sure all these girls are happy to be your bridesmaids.

How about instead of re-asking, get them all together for a lunch or dinner so everyone can get acquainted with each other, exchange contact info (if some don’t know the others) and kick off your planning this way.

Post # 5
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’ve heard about ladies sending flowers to their girls at work or at home with a cute card. You could combine that with jennibean‘s idea, and send them flowers with a note saying how much you’re looking forward to planning with them, and inviting them out to dinner.

For my Maid/Matron of Honor (and only BM), I just got a gift bag, filled it with her favorite candy, and added a cute card with a personal message. Cost me barely any time or money, but the sentiment was very appreciated. 

Post # 6
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I just sent my girls an e-mail and asked them. I don’t see the point in making or buying anything to ask. But that’s just me.

Post # 7
Member
7735 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Don’t worry. I think this is one of those things where you hear about the extravagent 10% and never hear about the quiet 90% who simply ask. I’ve only ever been asked “Will you be my bridesmaid” and I did the same myself. Re-asking makes no sense to me, I think that moment has passed.

Besides Jennibeau’s excellent idea, here’s another though: give them a small gift and/or card, saying “Now the wedding planning is starting, here is something to thank you for being my friend, and my bridesmaid”.

 

Post # 8
Member
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I had been planning on making some cards to send to my girls, but as the terrible secret keeper that I am, it definitely slipped in normal conversation that I would be having them as BMs. I made the cards anyway with a little note in each with why it is so special to me that they’ll be standing with me that day. Even though they already knew they would be by BMs, they all still really appreciated the card. If the card/gift/whatever pins youve been seeing arent really your style, there is no reason that you HAVE to do something like this…

Post # 9
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I didn’t see the point. They knew who they were!

Post # 10
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

I was totally planning on making them these pretty cards in their “color” (each bm will have a diff accent color) and writing a note, and everything… but that fell through! And I just ended up asking them.

I just figure later on I’ll send them a nice little thank you gift (for saying yes) and a heartfelt card, and then of course get them their bridesmaids gifts and another lovely note at the rehearsal.

Post # 12
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Mine went like this “I’m engaged yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, obviously you’re my Maid of Honour”

 

Job done lol, Will be getting her a Thank You Gift which I’ll give to her the day before, 

Post # 13
Member
7735 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@applecore:  haha I feel better that I’m not the only one who pretty well did that!

Post # 14
Member
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@wifetobe87:  I just asked them, no gift boxes, no formalities, I wouldnt give it a second thought.

Post # 15
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

My exact conversation with Maid/Matron of Honor was:

“I’m not formally asking you to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. It’s a given that it’s you, we’ve been best friends for 15 years.”

Post # 16
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My girls all knew who they were. I just made them handmade cards and asked them formally when I saw them next (I tried to plan to go out to dinner with all of them at once, but you know what they say about the best laid plans…). To be honest, the only reason I did it was because I LOVE making cards and I though it’d be a fun craft. 😉

 

My best friend got engaged a few weeks after I did, and when I asked her about her plans, she just told me over a text message that OF COURSE her bridesmaids would be her sisters and me. I didn’t mind that at all! Sometimes it’s nice to hear that your friendship is held in such high regard that it’s a given they want you to be a part of their special day!

 

 

ETA: @WoodenShoes:  That’s pretty much exactlyyy how things went for me! I didn’t outright say “YOURE MY BRIDESMAIDS” because I knew I wanted to “pop the question”, but statements like “Your dresses should look like this…” “When we walk down the aisle…” kind of found their way into conversation.

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