(Closed) Didn't you want a surprise?

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 17
Member
1138 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Ha ha, people say the strangest things. As if there’s some inherent value in being “surprised.” By that logic, why take a pregnancy test or get a u/s at all? Why not just sit around for 9 months and be “surprised” when a baby comes out? 😉

Post # 18
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@traceyjoy:  Yeah but how am I supposed to know whether to buy you pink, blue, or yellow stuff?  I think asking if you’re going to find out the gender is polite – it’s not “is it a boy or a girl?” assuming that you’ll find out. 

I wouldn’t want to know, but I always ask my friends if they are going to find out.  Making gender-specefic stuff is much easier than gender-neutral stuff. 

Post # 19
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I bet there is a bigger thrill for many if you wait the whole time to find out.  Like something’s more amazing after a long period of suspense.  But I had to know right away, asap!

Post # 20
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I thought we’d be team green, but I couldn’t wait. I, personally, felt more connected to the baby and my pregnancy after I found out. We named her, and used “her” and “she” and the like… I just felt it became more real somehow. 

Now, had we waited, I think after the emotional/hormonal rush of labor and delivery, not to mention the 9 months of waiting, would make the gender reveal at the moment of birth more thrilling than my tech telling me its a girl. 

Post # 21
Member
2777 posts
Sugar bee

@Sunshine09:  I don’t understand why anyone WOULDN’T want to find out as early as possible. I like to be prepared.

Post # 23
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I can’t wait to find out the gender of my baby once I get pregnant (hoping it’s this year!). I feel that it will connect me more with the tiny life inside me. Now whether or not I’m telling people is a different story since most people don’t in my religion/culture and I’ll probably follow suit. I like the idea of it being a true surprise at the end for others lol. 

Post # 24
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

All personal preference. Some people dream of knowing what they are having, decorating the nursery, buying the cute outfits and others dream of that moment at birth where the dr announces “it’s a boy/girl!” and the family finds out then. We are team green and yes, we get the “how can you wait? You’re crazy!” as well as the “it will be nice to be surprised!… well, I think even if we found out it would still be a surprise, and we can wait because we just don’t want/need to know lol. I’ve always imagined NOT knowing and having that moment in the hospital at the birth where we finally get to find out if this little peanut is a boy or a girl.

@Ninteenthchance:  We don’t want to know, and to be honest, it’s been a breeze to “prepare”. We have a neutral but fun nursery, our stroller is black, we have names picked (well, almost lol) for a boy or a girl and we are just fine with not finding out. To me, it was not important to find gender specific clothes, paint colours or the like to “plan”. We “plan” on havnig a baby and the gender doesn’t make a lick of difference during our pregnancy, to be honest. But, that’s just us! Lots of people would disagree and say they have to know so they can do all the things that we didn’t, and that is important to them. 

I am glad we are team green, but if my Darling Husband really wanted to find out I wouldn’t be opposed to it at all. I think not knowing has been a godsend for my visa because I would have already spent a crazy amount of money on gender-specific outfits… some of them are too cute for words!

Post # 25
Member
4505 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Yes, this totally confuses me. It’s a surprise whenever you find out, whether that’s at 15 weeks or at birth! (And I say this as someone who decided to wait to find out the sex….)

Post # 26
Member
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

Having done both it is a different kind of surprise when you wait (I’ve talked with a number of l&d nurses that talked about how the birth had a certain anticipation that births where the sex was pre-known didn’t have) BUT I still think it’s funny how a pregnant mom really can’t win with strangers….

If you’re waiting, people are upset that they don’t get to know. If you find out, someone says you’re spoiling the surprise… I tell you people are just crazy about the things they ask during pregnancy! lol

FWIW the time we didn’t find out was MUCH better…. it was great to find out at birth, we planned our gear neutral so we could easily use it later (it actually made planning alot easier), and we got almost all items we needed at the shower whereas the time I found out we got almost all clothes in the boy/girl color (it was really frustrating).

This time… we haven’t decided what we’re going to do. I have an idea for a gender reveal pic so we might have to find out. lol

Post # 27
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

People just say stupid stuff. No matter when you find out it’s a surprise.  At least if you find out half way through you’ll have a gender appropriate wardrobe lol. 

Post # 28
Member
3008 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Sunshine09:  Ha! I love that, great response. Of course you were surprised. I always thought I wanted to know the sex as soon as possible, but my husband wants to wait until the birth (although we’re not expecting yet, it’s our first cycle of TTC). So we’ll see what actually happens. Either way, we’ll be surprised at some point! Congrats to you!

Post # 29
Member
643 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 1988

@MrsPanda99:  I asked my OB what she does in the case of one parent wanting to know the sex and the other parent not wanting to know.

Her answer was that the mother is her patient (legally) and she abides by her wishes.

Luckily, we both wanted to the sex of both our children ASAP. It was very much a surprise… even at the ultrasound.

 @bananasareyellow:  ROFL at “Now, if I give birth to a giraffe? That would be a surprise!”

Post # 30
Member
1272 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We found out but are keeping it a secret from everyone else, this is what my parents requested anyway, and we LOVE having a secret only we know 🙂 I tell some people we don’t know, and others that we know but it’s a secret, so I’ve heard all different reactions 🙂

If anyone says something about ruining the surprise, I reply with “I think having a human on the outside of me who was just on the inside of me will be a big enough surprise” – that usually gets a nod and smile of agreement!

In terms of pros of finding out, our nursery and major purchases are all neutral anyway, and we hate pink, so no real difference there. But we love talking about our little girl and using “she” at home, I do feel like it’s been a nice way to connect to the idea of her. And I can’t imagine being any more excited than I already am about her arrival! Most of our friends haven’t wanted to find out though, so everyone is different!

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