Post # 16
When I was vegetarian I just ate before going to weddings, then I’d eat rolls and salad. But eating vegetarian at a wedding is pretty clear usually, rarely is meat hidden in places it doesn’t belong. I think keeping strict kosher means only eating things prepared in a strict kosher kitchen (correct me if I’m wrong) so if the bowl that the salad was in has once touched meat and then later touched dairy that salad would be a no-go right? Again not totally familiar with it, sorry if I’m off.
I imagine your Future Brother-In-Law already knows you keep kosher so asking wouldn’t be a problem, but I’d ask in such a way that it’s clear you aren’t trying to get him to prepare special food for you. Assuming the caterer is set there’s probably not a lot they could do at this point to make their kitchen kosher if it isn’t already. But I’m willing to bet that a lot of caterers keep a kosher kitchen to expand their business, especially if you live in an area where there’s a significant Jewish population, so it’s not unlikely that there will be kosher options for you.
Post # 17
Have they sent RSVP cards yet? If they do, and there’s a section for dietary requirements, maybe fill that in with the information that you keep kosher and a brief explanation of what that entails. If their RSVP cards don’t include the provision for dietary needs then yes, you probably should contact your Future Brother-In-Law and explain your needs. That way he can either say “of course, we’ll arrange a kosher meal” or “sorry, can’t do it”, at which point you know to just eat beforehand or snack before, eat after. I feel like it’s better to let them know so they don’t misconstrue things and incorrectly assume you’re being rude not eating their wedding meal. It’s a real dietary requirement for you, it’s not as if you’re pestering them with something petty like “so, I don’t really love green vegetables”.
Post # 18
I would NEVER expect my guests to have to eat before they attended any event I was hosting. Talk to them about it. Be polite, don’t demand, but do ask. You’ll know what to do by his attitude or final answer if he gives you one.
Post # 19
I would say just ask politely yourself or get your fiance to ask if there’ll be any sort of food option for you. If they have caterers I’m sure they will be used to it 🙂 I’m vegan, so have this sort of trouble too. Last weekend I went to a wedding where I could only have a bread roll and hummous all day 😛
Post # 20
Thank you for all the input and advice! In the end, my fiance and I sat down with his parents and asked about the food situation, and they said they would talk to his brother and future sister in law about it. It just so happened that the brother and fsil were thinking of the same thing at the same time, and called us within seconds of our conversation with the parents to offer kosher food for me. Their wedding was two weekends ago and it was great and very kind. (Also turns out the drama was coming from a different part of the family and not them, but that’s a whole nother story!).
Thank you again!