(Closed) differences in sex drive?

posted 11 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 17
Member
7 posts
Newbee

Oh my god thank you for this post! I have been so stressed out lately and it’s taking a toll on my sex drive. My problem might be a little bit different though — the BF can’t…ahem…get himself off. This has been a problem for him since he was a teenager and he’s gone to different doctors and counselors, but to no avail. On top of that, his sex drive is VERY high. I mean, he would love to get busy multiple times a day every day. I love him very much and I want to be able to satisfy his needs, but lately it just seems impossible. I’d say we’re at about 3-5x/week, which I think is pretty normal, but I feel a lot of pressure because I know that he wants a lot more. He just can’t “take care of it” himself when I’m too tired or too stressed. It gets to the point where it makes him really moody, causes him physical pain, and will keep him up at night! He never pushes me to do anything when I’m just not in the mood, but I know that it’s frustrating and literally painful for him so I end up feeling guilty. I’m not sure that any of you have had to deal with this — I didn’t even know that men could have this problem until we started dating…but wow it feels good to get this off my chest!

Post # 19
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I am in the same boat sort of, my DH has low sex drive, which i knew would be a possibility due to his medications (anti-depressants). It still feels like he is blowing me off and can be hurtful. But at the same time i dont want to be nagging and hurt his feelings about this issue. We just got married so i did mention “we are on our honeymoon” to him and he just says i know.

Post # 20
Member
3098 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Ours are polar opposites – his is low, mine is high. It’s frustrating, and I don’t know how we’ll ever have a baby if this keeps up. 🙁 It’s really a source of contention in our relationship. The only one, actually.

Post # 21
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

@ laylabelle, that about sums it up for me, thats been our one issue so far.

Post # 22
Member
299 posts
Helper bee

He always wants it, but he frequently has to lure me into it- once I’m interested, then I’ll jump into it, but outside of that…I’m a control freak, and pretty ocd about things, and I’m a clean freak, so I tend to regulate sex into hour-amounts during the week. It’s fun and crazy then (I’m not boring, lol, we’re all about crazy stuff, whips chains and all!), but if he, for example, wanted sex before I went to work or before we went out to dinner, no, hah, because to be blunt, it isn’t worth the repetition of a 2 hour makeup/hair/dressing routine, re-showering, etc. I’m really anal about my look outside the house, nothing can be out of place or I get agitated. Am I an uptight pain? Oh yes, I am 😉 Do I have a high sex drive, somewhat, but it’s easier and neater AND faster if I take care of it myself, HAH! 😀

Post # 23
Member
2194 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I’m so happy to see that I’m not alone in the role reversal here: my libido is way higher than FI’s and, like Laylabelle, it’s the ONLY thing we ever have serious fights about. It’s quite upsetting.

Post # 24
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I have a hire sex drive than the hubby! It’s funny. I’ve had to tone my down.

Post # 25
Member
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I have a way higher sex drive than him. I could easily have sex every day. Our problem is that our schedules are so different! He gets UP at 1 AM to get ready for work. I am either in bed by then or usually go to bed shortly thereafter. I get up at 6 am, except for the summer when I might sleep in until 8 or 9 AM. He works 12 to 14 hour days, so he is often too tried for sex. I usually get home 4 PM or so in the afternoon and he goes to bed at 6 PM. If it sounds like we don’t get a lot of time together, we don’t. I don’t know how we had so much sex during the first year but it is getting increasingly difficult to have sex anymore.

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