Post # 1
This is a fight my fiancee and I have recurringly. We eat very differently. He would be happy with a burger, hot dog, or pizza every night. I like that too, but especially now that the wedding is so close I’m trying much harder to eat healthier. I gained a lot of weight when we first started dating because I wanted to eat what he ate, and now I feel like we’re both not eating healthily enough and it concerns me. The problem is he is a picky eater and has the taste buds of a 5 year old (hates vegetables, wheat bread, etc.)
For example, tonight I made veggie burgers for the first time as a way to have something fast and healthy. I thought it was pretty good; he spat it out. I was kind of mad that he didn’t give it a try, and he was mad because I was mad.
If you have a different diet than your fiancee, how do you do it without one of you getting upset? Do you plan on eating different meals for the rest of your life? Making separate meals for your kids?
Post # 3
I have definitely changed my fiance’s diet. Before we dated he ate ramen and hummus every day. That was it. I think you should definitely talk to your fiance about his eating habits for a couple of reasons. If he eats that way every day, it could seriously impact his health down the road, if it hasn’t already. Also, if you plan to have children, how can you teach them the importance of eating a healthy, balanced diet if their dad eats junk every day?
I would recommend discussing this in premarital counseling or seeing a nutritionist. Healthy eating is so important, especially if you want a long life together!
Post # 4
I should have added that he knows he needs to change his eating to be more healthy, and he does try. I’m just saying that each of us, given a choice, would choose something different from each other every night. And he is very picky so he doesn’t eat lots of things.
Post # 5
Luckily we both have the same food concerns and tastes. We both dream of eating healthy well-balanced meals but are so busy that we end up eating frozen chicken patti sandwiches!! Once a month I put us on a diet that lasts about a week. But when we try to diet, we usually do it together. It is just too difficult to do it alone!
He might think you are nuts for wanting a "talk" on this issue, but I think it is necessary to have one! If for no other reason than poor eating habits will have long term consequences for him. Good luck!
Post # 6
Who prepares the food for dinner?
I’m a big believer that if you’re not the one making dinner, you can’t really complain!
Post # 7
My fiance is a vegetarian and I am not. Needless to say we have different diets. About 4 nights a week we prepare seperate meals and eat at the same time. The other 3 nights a week we will eat the same thing…and we take turns preparing the meal. We aren’t planning on having kids, so I dont see any reason why we would change (if it’s not broken, why fix it?).
However, my mother always ate something different at dinner then the rest of us growning up and it never phased us. It worked out just fine!
Post # 8
I’m a vegetarian, and he’s not (like lilbird but backwards), so we simply can’t eat the same things. He loves meat, and I’d never ask him to give it up. I’m a very picky eater, so I can’t just make a salad or something either. Typically he makes the "main" dish, which is meat, and I make sides. I really prefer to only eat one thing, or at most two, for my meal, weird as it may seem to have just corn or beans or potatoes for dinner, so it works well.
As for kids, we’re still not 100% sure, since it’ll be a little hard to explain, but the plan for now is to stay the way it is. The kids will eat meat till they reach an age where it’s healthy to stop (haven’t researched when that is, but definitely at least till they’re 10+), and then will be allowed to stop if they choose. My stepmom often eats different things than everyone else, and no one questions it. And my little brother is allergic to milk, eggs, wheat, soy, and peanuts, so needless to say his meal is almost always different. Everyone just eats what they want more or less.
Post # 9
i’m like lilbird and liz.smith. i’m a veg and he’s not. i just cook different. dinner can be a steak for him and grilled zucchini slices for me and sides are baked potato and another veggie. he is fine with it and so am i. neither of us pressure the other to change…it works how we are now.
Post # 10
I do most of the cooking (he does the clean up), so I pretty much set the diet at home. But even when he does cook, he knows that I’m fairly unlikely to eat anything super unhealthy so he tries to stick to my preferences…though he’ll do things like make white rice instead of brown which is what I would do. I should confess, though, that I have a history of body image and eating issues so he also knows he needs to be senstive to that. I also don’t eat any red meat, and we sort of tacitly stick to keeping it out of the house. Very occasionally (like 3 times a year) if there’s someone else coming over he’ll cook steaks on the grill, but he won’t keep meat around. I know he still eats fast food for lunch some days, but I also know he’s trying to eat much healthier and that’s at least partly motivated by me. I think that part of our eating habits are also dictated by the fact that I’m willing to put a lot more effort into preparing meals, so he knows he can’t really complain about what I’m preparing.
To be honest I’d be pretty upset if I cooked dinner and he spat it out. It sounds like maybe though, this is just something that you haven’t talked about directly…perhaps you can work out some sort of compromise (like he cooks a couple days with his choice or you do your own thing a couple of nights). What you eat on a regular basis is a very personal thing, and I can understand its being hard to negotiate. To be honest I feel pretty lucky that it’s been so easy for us despite the fact that we started off with such different eating habits. I’m fairly certain that you guys will work out a schedule/compromise that works for you, though, so you don’t need to worry about meal prep for your kids just yet:)
Post # 11
- Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion
This totally sounds like my fiance and me! He HATES cheese–hates it with a passion. When we first met, I was vegetarian. I adapted my eating habits to his b/c I’m not picky–I love all foods! There are times when I get annoyed that I can’t share a bowl of queso with him, etc. Btw, he also hates any type of beans, tomatoes, and anything the slightest bit cheesy or creamy. However, the longer we have been together, I have slowly opened him up to more eating possibilities. He once hated fish, now I’ve even got him eating sushi! I’ve decided to go veggie again and he is totally supportive. Sure, it’s more work for us to find meals that we can eat together but we try to make an effort to do that. However, I’ve had to accept the fact that sometimes I will be cooking just for myself.
You should ask your fiance to try new things with you. At least he will get the experience of it, even if he hates it! And as a compromise, you guys should have a pizza night or burgers night a couple nights a month in order to satisfy his cravings. Also, you could try making healthy pizzas at home, or instead of veggie burgers, buffalo or turkey burgers.
Post # 12
We have similar argments as well. For example, I try not to eat white foods (bread, pasta, rice) and substitute brown whenever possible. He hates wheat pasta and brown rice and will refuse to eat it. I think it is psychological and that you can train yourself to like it if you eat it enough, but he refuses. Sometimes I just make it anyway because I want to be eating healthy, but usually I just cave in to what he wants. I think eventually I would make it the healthy versions for me and the kids and if he still resists, make him his own.
Post # 13
- Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor
We sort of cook 2 different dishes. For example, tonight we made curries, I used a light curry sauce and he used a regular one. I used fake chicken, a potato, chickpeas, hot peppers and mushrooms. He used chicken. We also make pasta frequently and I use a low calorie sauce and he uses a regular higher calorie sauce. We cut up peppers, an onion, zucchini, and add hot peppers into each of our sauces. I add low fat fake ground beef to mine and he adds chicken or sausage to his. You could always make a veggie burger for you with lettuce for a bun, and a regular burger for him with a bun. There are lots of easy ways to split the caloric difference and alter your dishes while leaving the full calorie kind to him. We often cook multiple servings of each of our dinners to save for later in the week.
Post # 14
My fi couldn’t cook anything besides a burger or eggs if his life depended on it, so he doesn’t usually complain when i make things he doesn’t really enjoy. Neither of us are very picky though we have pretty opposite tastes… I am not a vegetarian but I may as well be, since I don’t like most meat, and while he enjoys vegetables, salads, and pastas, he’s definitely a steak and potatoes kind of man.
I usually just cook whatever I feel like cooking and if it’s a pasta dish, I’ll throw in some chicken or beef chunks and then I just won’t eat those… or if he wants a burger I’ll throw in a soy chicken patty for myself and just make side dishes we both would eat.
I’ve always kind of been a "different" eater.. meaning while I’ll eat anything, I pretty much only LOVE veggies, salads, pastas, beans, etc.. so often in my family growing up, I ate all the side dishes and just didn’t have the main meal. If I didn’t like what even the side dishes were, I just had the salad. I’m assuming when we have kids I’ll cook traditional things and if I’m the one eating something different, or my Fi doesn’t like the vegetables- oh well!
Have you checked out any of Hungry Gal’s recipes? There are some healthy choices in that cookbook that taste like unhealthy foods. You might be able to find something that can please both you and your fi!
Post # 15
We have the same love of pigging out at nice restaurants, and a similarly adventurous palate, which is great. Dining out has not been a problem.
Cooking at home is kind of hard. He is still in training as far as cooking goes, so I’m doing most of the work. It has been tricky adjusting my shopping and budget to account for his ravenous appetite. I have trained him to accept new vegetables into his diet (the secret is curry or roasting them with lots of garlic) and I wish he would catch on to some of the cooking faster. So far he can only boil eggs and make quesadillas, haha.
I think that was super rude of him to spit it out, though. I guess it’s nice that he can be honest with you but he should be happy you’re volunteering to cook!
Post # 16
I’m a vegetarian and he’s not, but we eat the same food 95% of the time. If we are eating separately (usually nights I have class), he’ll cook up something with meat, but most of the time, we eat vegetarian food. I do eat some fish, which helps, so we eat fish usually one night a week. When we do a burger night, I usually have a veggie burger and he has a regular burger. I like more vegetables than he does, so I’ll make myself some extra veggies or salad sometimes.
We can both cook, and we sit down and menu-plan on Sundays and then go grocery shopping for the week, so whoever is home first starts cooking.
You really don’t have to eat the same food – he can eat a regular burger and you can have a veggie burger. He can have a regular pizza and you can have one with veggies and a whole wheat crust (especially if you are making it at home). You can also just start cooking differently for yourself, and he might follow – we eat the same meals almost entirely out of laziness – making separate food just seems like work.
Also, you can try switching up the ground meat you are using – I’ve never noticed a difference between ground turkey and ground beef. You could do a ground turkey in a hamburger-helper type casserole.