(Closed) Different kind of proposal –

posted 6 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
Member
2778 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Yes and no.  FI and I were LDR for a while too and when he moved where I was, we got closer and over time and many discussions he had told me that he wanted to marry me. 

Then like you and your Fiance we were discussing it one day due to our trying to purchase a house and we agreed that we were ready and would like to get married. He did get down on one knee later with a ring (which I like to call the presentation of the ring lol not a “real proposal” since we had discussed it already.)

People were underwhelmed by the presentation of the ring story which bugged me but I just never told it again except on the bee.

The ring will help others consider your engagement real but I considered my engagement real from the second we discussed it for real.  

If you want you could just tell people “he proposed to me on a camping trip” and leave it at that.  Theres no reason for people to pry.  And since you don’t have a ring yet but are planning on getting one when they ask you can just say, “he wanted to wait so we could pick one together, he wanted to make sure I’d get something I like.”  That should satisfy most questions. I’m going to tell people from now on that he proposed to me in our apartment right in front of my bookcase, after asking me to take the dogs on a walk so that he could put away the laundry. Tricky, tricky and such a surprise lol.

Post # 5
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We were never in a long-distance relationship, but the whole talk-about-marriage-a-life-together-proposal thing was very undramatic. It was quick (we were dating for under five months when he proposed — eep!), yes, but nothing elaborate. One night we were falling asleep and I asked what he thought about our future. He was hesitant to answer because I was the one who was very reserved about the whole marriage-let’s-spend-our-lives-together-forever deal and he didn’t want to freak me out, but the man’s a romantic and after a little bit of persuasion (ahem, kissing), he told me that he thought about our future a lot, but didn’t want to “scare me off” by talking about too much, too soon. When I told him that he’s the first person who has ever made me want to get married and spend my life with, he turned into a grinning fool and the next few weeks we just casually showed each other pictures of rings and dresses and whatnot, getting into the gooey-romantic spirit of it all. And then he proposed. In his car, the day he bought the ring because, he “knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, and I don’t see the point in waiting since it’s what we both want”. And I said yes. ๐Ÿ˜€ And the next few days it just felt so…surreal. I was engaged? How had that happened? How was it all so completely stress free and natural and wonderful? 

After that, we had to explain to people that our separate apartment leases and the number of dogs we had would keep us from moving in together for a full year. He had just moved into a new place with a year-long lease, and I still had four months left on my own. Between us, we had three dogs and no apartment around here allows that many. And so if we couldn’t live together yet, we obviously wouldn’t be getting married for a while. People were confused by the whole thing because I never talked with people about our relationship. It has always been such an easy, stress-free situation that there was never any need for venting or anything, and I am generally very private about things like that with people I know in person (like people at work, etc. Too much drama, getting people involved in my personal life. Online? Totally different story, obviously!), so when people started realizing I was wearing an engagement ring, they’re like, “What? Who? When? I thought he was ‘just a friend’!” It’s hard letting people into your world when they don’t understand unconventional ways of doing things (like NOT spreading my personal buisness around work) and so they don’t know the story as it’s unfolding and you have to try to make it clear that you’re NOT being impulsive or irrational and that just because you never announced it at work or on Facebook that you’re crazy about your boo-bear-snugglekins, it actually IS possible to be in love and in a healthy, happy relationship.

So, not the same situation at all, lol, but I get what you’re saying about how it just…flowed. How there was no big, dramatic, super-romantic (in the movie sort of way) gesture or story to tell. But I loved every moment of how it played out. It was very us. Very low key and intimate and perfect. 

Post # 6
Member
7753 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

My husband asked me in the middle of a long night of talking. Nothing romantic, no ring. Then he formally asked my father before we made it public, and then we went ring shopping together. To us that was the proposal – the night he asked me to marry him. I sometimes get jealous when I hear of more romantic proposals, but then I remind myself the important thing is the man I’m married, not the proposal. But thank you both, I feel better.

Post # 8
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I just went through this…in fact, Fiance asked me last night if I was disappointed in my “proposal”, to which I told him I considered the night he proposed to be a different night.

We had talked about getting married in very “grown-up” terms, and he did ask me one night, but without a ring or a big to-do.

We started planning on getting married June 2013, but didn’t really tell anyone about it, and I didn’t have a ring.

I got really sick (as in a long-term illness), and I was struggling handling working and being a single mom.  One night I just started crying from exhaustion and he asked me to marry him right away so he could take care of me.  I convinced him to let me plan something in for September (which was about 6 weeks away), and he agreed.  I consider that my proposal.  It was the most caring, loving, and romantic gesture that anyone has done for me.

He “proposed” 2 weeks ago with my ring, down on his knee, etc., while my 3 year old daughter poked his cheek and asked if he was done talking yet ๐Ÿ˜‰  To me, that was just a formality, and although not what I dreamed of, it’s perfect for us.

Post # 9
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Honestly, if it feels real to you, then that’s all that matters… Fiance and I had an odd “pre-engagement” proposal thing… We had talked about getting married a lot up to that point, and were actively making plans to get married before he even really proposed! So I like to think that we were *technically* engaged for a while, but at some point we decided a ring was necessary, and he’d bought one that I’d chosen as a favorite. 

He took off work on a Monday that promised decent weather, and we wanted to go to this local village along a creek… lots of walking trails and waterfalls and such nice things. Anyway, the “decent weather” turned out to be a murky day with a constant dribble of rain… So after walking around on a few trails (which was actually me being dragged by him along these trails, as he had a place in mind where he wanted to bring me but couldn’t remember where it was!) we settled by an abandoned swimming area with, as luck would have it, a solitary dry boulder at the water’s edge.

He proposed standing ankle-deep in the water, with his head in my lap. Naturally, I said yes, and we went and got ice cream afterwards. xD Also, the place we went had terrible phone service, so I wasn’t able to text or update Facebook until we got home; which added a sort of intimacy. 

OP, the route you’re taking is very similar to mine! It’s nice to feel like this journey is one you’re taking together, from the start, rather than the whole “lady-in-waiting” scenario. Also, you’ll have a say in the ring you get, which is awesome! I wish you all the best. <3

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