(Closed) Different religions SIL & I Advice

posted 4 years ago in Interfaith
Post # 3
6586 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

souza_2005:  My BFF married into a Mormon family, and one of my other very good friends also married into a Mormon family and are both considered LDS. While my two friends are not like this, I think because they weren’t raised that way but rather joined via marriage, but many many many of the other LDS members I know are very pushy about their religion. It’s part of their doctrine to spread the word with others – it’s one of the main reasons you see so many missionaries going door to door. Your SIL most likely is following what she’s taught in Church about continuing to share their beliefs with others. Having atteneded many events at the Mormon church (church, not temple, as I’m not LDS) I find many things they do to be very strange and out of my comfort zone – but I would never put it down to those members. My friend and I joke about it, because honesty she only goes to keep the peace within her DH’s family and not because she really believes (she drinks, does not wear garments, etc).

You need to be blunt and point blank with your SIL. Tell her that while you are happy she’s found a religion she aligns with, it’s does not share your beliefs and you would appriciate if she wouldn’t bring it up.

Post # 4
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Brussels, Belgium

I agree with PP about teling her to not bring it up in the future.

This is slightly different but my Fiance is Jewish and I don’t have a religion and have no intention to find one. He doesn’t care so much, but I know his family wants me to convert so they can have Jewish grandkids. Some people in the family are pushy, but by now most of them know not to talk to me about it. Personally, the more people try to push me into it the less I want to convert, but that’s a whole other story. When we get married I’m sure some people will ask why I haven’t converted or when I’m planning to and I’ll need to think of a polite way to answer, but for the most part I think they know not to talk about religion around me.

Post # 5
5189 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

souza_2005:  I’m confused. Who’s boat is it? The owner of the boat should be the one to decide who blesses it. Ugh, religious conversations are such a drag. 

Post # 6
1772 posts
Buzzing bee

As Pp said, just let herknow that you’ll have to agree to disagree about religion.  She’s found one that works for her, and you’ve found a different one that works for you.  I’d also let her know that while it hasn’t been overwhelming, you’ve felt some pressure and prostelitizing and that from now on you would be more comfortable not discussing religious issues with her. 

Post # 8
7527 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Honestly, I’m the type of person who lets anyone say a blessing. If it is goodwill and positive energy directed my way- then bring it on.  I don’t believe in a god who would smite my boat because some well meaning person with good intentions blessed it.

Post # 10
12253 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

souza_2005:  You make a great point about people not having more rights if we all keep our mouths shut. 

I’m not Catholic but I went to catholic school for a while.  Not really relevant but even as a non member of your religion, I think you have a right to respect your faith and honor it as you see fit, esp when it invovles your property. 

It’s hard when you find yourself in the position you are in, and not everyone enjoys conflict. But it seems like you’re going to need to set her straight at some point, and this is a pretty nonvolatile issue. So I’d thank her for her generous offer and then tell her I’m so happy she found what she was looking for in her new faith, and I respect that, which is why I know she will respect my faith. Ask her if she agrees that your relationship is too precious to test with religious disagreements and see if you can get an agreement to leave religion at the door.

Good luck! 



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