(Closed) Different schedules & sleep issues??

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
2870 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Can you rock some ear plugs to help with sound? I wake up easily to noise and well, my Darling Husband isn’t the most quiet 🙂 They have helped me TONS!

Post # 3
Member
47258 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

ks1986:  Tell him to get a headset. He can have his music as loud as he wants and he will be the only one who hears it.

Post # 4
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I’m not married but have similar sleeping issues with my long-term boyfriend–he literally can’t lay still in his sleep because of a medical condition. The solution? He sleeps in the guest room, by choice, after having to deal with me being a total bitch from sleep deprivation for the first few months we attempted to sleep together. Now, even though we don’t sleep in the same bed together, our relationship is better than ever because we both get a full, restful night’s sleep. We still get in bed and watch TV and cuddle together, but when we start to get sleepy, he gets up and goes to the guest room.

But seriously, for your particular issue, tell him to calm down. At night when you are ready for bed, tell him to turn off the overhead lights, use soft lamps, and use headphones.  I don’t think it’s too much to ask.

Post # 5
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I second the ear plugs suggestion – b/c of our work schedules/different needs for sleep, my husband and I very rarely get into bed at the same time (and we live in a 700 sq foot apartment!).  I find if I’m in bed a while before him (enough time for me to be soundly sleeping before he comes in) and I’m wearing earplus and sometimes a sleep mask, he doesn’t wake me.

Post # 6
Member
3442 posts
Sugar bee

I have/had similar issues – I wear ear plugs and take a melatonin and Benadryl. My husband tightened the frame of the bed so it would move around less. I bought black out curtains for him since he works some night shifts. He’s also learned to roll over if I nudge him due to snoring. I’ve learned not to hog the bed. It takes time to get used to sharing a bed:)

Post # 7
Member
13 posts
Newbee

I have the same issue with my fiance…..I like to go to bed grandma-style early on weekdays (like 9:30pm), whereas he will routinely stay up til 2 or 3 am. I just go to the bedroom when I start to feel tired, close the door, read or whatever for awhile and then fall asleep. I usually do wake up when he comes to bed (I’m a super light sleeper), but most times I can get back to sleep…..UNLESS HE SNORES, which is another issue we have on and off. We’ve decided to get a 2 bedroom apartment in a few months with a spare bedroom, so I can escape there if I need to.

Other than that, ear plugs, one of those eye cover thingies they give you on airplanes, and benadryl have all helped me a lot. But I think the best solution is having the safe haven of a second bedroom (not necessarily using it every night, but sometimes).

Post # 8
Member
6511 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I spent years being jostled awake every time he turned over because we both had spring beds. In the last 18 months, we’ve both switch to tempurpedic mattresses amd I’m sleeping significantly better. I’d also second the ear plugs and maybe sleep mask suggestions. They really help.

Post # 9
Member
3325 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: City, State

ks1986:  you will learn to cope on 4/5 hrs sleep. I have. Been together 10yrs. He is retired to gets up late about 10/11am and doesn’t go bed till about 12/1am next morning. I am up at 7am and normally have a snooze in front of the TV about 10/11pm. He will wake to go uoto bed with him. I am a very light sleeper. He gets up 1/3 times for the loo, we have dogs jumping on and off the bed. Plus there is snoring lol. 

Eye mask and ear plugs are my friends, try em

Post # 10
Member
303 posts
Helper bee

ks1986:  I think time will help! I also think earplugs and a sleep machine (LIFESAVER) are great suggestions.  Also, do you exercise regularly?  If I’m pretty exhausted come bedtime, a train couldn’t wake me up lol.

Post # 11
Member
3456 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I do think that time will help. I remember it taking awhile for me to get used to this stuff too. Heck, I work 12-6 most days and just this morning I made myself get up at 7 in order to synchronize our sleep schedules a bit. My Fiance gets up at 5:30 for work, and after 7 months I don’t even wake up when his alarm goes off anymore! 

Maybe a bigger/different mattress would help to keep you from waking up when he goes to bed? Wear a sleep mask? And talk to him about what he can do as far as turning lights off, shutting doors quietly, etc.

I also recommend ear plugs. My dad is a musician and gets home around 3 am after gigs, so my mom always wears ear plugs to sleep. And so she doesn’t miss her alarm, she uses one of the clocks that lights up and beeps. 

Also, maybe he could get in the habit of going to bed around 11! Just because he doesn’t have to be up that early doesn’t mean he can’t. Night owl or not. It’s a sacrifice I make for my Fiance so that we get more quality time together.

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