I guess I’m more in the category of ‘A’. About serving meat: No, HELL no, I am not serving anything from an animal at my wedding. I’ve been a vegetarian since 8 and a vegan since 13 and there’s pretty much nothing I feel more strongly about. I am not paying thousands of dollars to perpetuate the completely unnecessary torture and brutal killing of defenseless animals. I hate the smell of meat, cheese, and eggs, and hate looking at the burnt flesh of an animal that I know senselessly went through months or years of hell just to wind up on someone’s plate so they can have a mindless pleasure for ten minutes.
Good food is good food. My mom (who went pescetarian after I went veg) and I cook vegan dinners and desserts for family and friends who are totally omnivorous all the time and they love it and don’t miss the animal products one bit because there are countless types of vegetables, fruits, grains, fungi, and spices to work with to create and endless array of amazing dishes. It’s not like we’re serving sprouts and carrots with raw dip, christ I don’t even eat that crap. We’re having a fattening, artfully prepared several-course dinner catered by one of the best vegan restaurants in the country and a decadent cake that makes gluttonous me happy. My guests, unless they are insane, don’t have any qualms with consuming plant-based foods, and we can’t reasonably make the assumption that any plant feels anything resembling what we call pain or fear when we cut it, whereas to serve my guests animal products would have unquestionably caused living beings something very similar to what we consider pain or fear when it’s manifested in other human beings. And that’s something I am adamantly opposed to doing. To say that it purchasing and serving animal foods at my wedding would put a damper on our happy celebration for me is a gross understatement. So the food issue is one thing that any whiny guests can suck it about. Unless they come in being childish and close-minded and convinced that a plant-based meal can’t possibly be good, they will enjoy the food. It’s going to be really incredible food, and we’re going to have several options for each course so everyone finds something they will like.
Other than that, I do want things done in such a way that they’ll make me happy, but none of it is going to really inconvenience my guests. Yeah, I’m going to have pictures between the ceremony and reception, but we’re going to have a stellar cocktail hour (and ONLY an hour, no painful dragging it out so we can get a million posed shots, I don’t even really want any posed shots to begin with, but we’re getting them because I know other people will want them!) going on in the meantime with lots of booze, good music, and yums. Yes, I am handing the DJ an extensive do play/don’t play list, but I’m taking music requests from all my guests (though may veto some if they’re wildly inappropriate, etc.). Basically, I view this wedding as a party for Fiance and me, done up to suit our tastes, and boy do I have a lot of opinions about it (FI, eh, not so much) but we’re not going to throw something that our guests won’t enjoy. It’s not like it’s either do things that make me really happy or do things that make my guests happy but not both. Both are possible.
EDIT: wow, that was long, sorry! I feel very strongly about veganism and the endless amazing culinary possibilities within a veg diet.