(Closed) Different types of Brides…

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 17
1001 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I would love to go to a vegetarian or vegan wedding!  I love trying different kinds of food.

I guess I’m in the Bride A camp with a few things, like the Out of Town guest bags.  I’ve never gotten one!  I’m not doing them.  But otherwise, I think I’ve been an accommodating and gracious host.  I didn’t even throw a fit when two people wrote in guests!  I’m letting it slide, it’s only two people.

Post # 18
2865 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think I’m mostly a B. Because I figure if I’m inviting people I want them to enjoy being there.

Plus I’m not soo overly concerned about anyone being disappointed about some of our decisions that I’d change anything that the Fiance and I have decided on – because it really is about us.

Post # 19
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t know that strict categories are really all that realistic.  I think we all make different choices or compromises all through the wedding planning process and a lot of it has to do with how you interpret it.  My cousin’s wedding, for instance, involved all the guests having to hike down (and then back up) a steep hill in the woods for the ceremony and I thought, as a guest, that this was so inconsiderate of her.  But then talking to her afterwards, she talked about how happy she was to have planned a ceremony that was so fun for her guests–she’s outdoorsy, loves hiking and that was what she saw as “fun.” 

Our Out of Town bags–I’ve received them before as a guest and I’ve never thought “oh, how considerate.”  Instead, every time, I think “Why did you waste time and money on this?  I can get my own granola and bottled water, thanks.” Until I started wedding planning, I had no idea that they were considered a symbol of how much you cared about your guests.

The choices that everyone makes about their wedding can be interpreted any number of ways depending on where you’re coming from.  It doesn’t seem particularly useful to create general categories where brides who do X are brides who care about their guests and brides who do Y are brides who only care about themself and their partner. 

Post # 20
6571 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i’m bride a… but i was a pushover to my family (so some b), not guests. mostly my mom.

Post # 21
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Hmm…interesting. Like many others, I think that more often than not, these two mix. : D I definitely started off as a Bride A, and then sort of morphed into Bride B, but now I’m kind of in between. We’re planning on thanking our Out of Town guests and making things as convenient as possible, but I’ve stopped trying to make EVERYONE happy, because it’s way too much stress.

Post # 23
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

There is also a “bride C” type, the one who wants to please everybody but herself… it’s the one who always asks for input, opinions, etc and who changes “her” mind whenever somebody dislikes her choices and/or disagrees with her (somebody would call her the codependent bride AHAH). This is also the one who constantly tries to follow trends (or traditions) and please the bridesmaids, the pastor, heck even her dog LOL

And also a “bride D” the one who doesn’t really give much of a —-, who thinks that a wedding is “just one day”, so is all into saving money and doing things in a super tight budget with the minimum amount of things and berates whatever and whoever is more expensive/glamorous. This is the classless bride ahahah

Post # 24
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

“And also a “bride D” the one who doesn’t really give much of a —-, who thinks that a wedding is “just one day”, so is all into saving money and doing things in a super tight budget with the minimum amount of things and berates whatever and whoever is more expensive/glamorous. This is the classless bride ahahah”

What a horrible, judgey thing to say!  Berating people about what they choose to spend their money on is off course rude and I wouldn’t condone it.  But to say that brides who keep a very practical mindset (whether because they have a small budget to work with or simply only want to spend their money on what counts for them) are ‘classless’ is really awful.  Wedding planning brings out the worst in people sometimes.

And for the record, I certainly wouldn’t tell a bride I thought her Out of Town bags were a waste of money–I’d only think it to myself 🙂

Post # 26
2194 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I guess I’m more in the category of ‘A’.  About serving meat: No, HELL no, I am not serving anything from an animal at my wedding.  I’ve been a vegetarian since 8 and a vegan since 13 and there’s pretty much nothing I feel more strongly about.  I am not paying thousands of dollars to perpetuate the completely unnecessary torture and brutal killing of defenseless animals.  I hate the smell of meat, cheese, and eggs, and hate looking at the burnt flesh of an animal that I know senselessly went through months or years of hell just to wind up on someone’s plate so they can have a mindless pleasure for ten minutes.  

Good food is good food.  My mom (who went pescetarian after I went veg) and I cook vegan dinners and desserts for family and friends who are totally omnivorous all the time and they love it and don’t miss the animal products one bit because there are countless types of vegetables, fruits, grains, fungi, and spices to work with to create and endless array of amazing dishes.  It’s not like we’re serving sprouts and carrots with raw dip, christ I don’t even eat that crap.  We’re having a fattening, artfully prepared several-course dinner catered by one of the best vegan restaurants in the country and a decadent cake that makes gluttonous me happy.  My guests, unless they are insane, don’t have any qualms with consuming plant-based foods, and we can’t reasonably make the assumption that any plant feels anything resembling what we call pain or fear when we cut it, whereas to serve my guests animal products would have unquestionably caused living beings something very similar to what we consider pain or fear when it’s manifested in other human beings.  And that’s something I am adamantly opposed to doing.  To say that it purchasing and serving animal foods at my wedding would put a damper on our happy celebration for me is a gross understatement.  So the food issue is one thing that any whiny guests can suck it about.  Unless they come in being childish and close-minded and convinced that a plant-based meal can’t possibly be good, they will enjoy the food.  It’s going to be really incredible food, and we’re going to have several options for each course so everyone finds something they will like.

Other than that, I do want things done in such a way that they’ll make me happy, but none of it is going to really inconvenience my guests.  Yeah, I’m going to have pictures between the ceremony and reception, but we’re going to have a stellar cocktail hour (and ONLY an hour, no painful dragging it out so we can get a million posed shots, I don’t even really want any posed shots to begin with, but we’re getting them because I know other people will want them!) going on in the meantime with lots of booze, good music, and yums.  Yes, I am handing the DJ an extensive do play/don’t play list, but I’m taking music requests from all my guests (though may veto some if they’re wildly inappropriate, etc.).  Basically, I view this wedding as a party for Fiance and me, done up to suit our tastes, and boy do I have a lot of opinions about it (FI, eh, not so much) but we’re not going to throw something that our guests won’t enjoy.  It’s not like it’s either do things that make me really happy or do things that make my guests happy but not both.  Both are possible.


EDIT: wow, that was long, sorry!  I feel very strongly about veganism and the endless amazing culinary possibilities within a veg diet.

Post # 27
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

This was funny to  read because type a totally fits me to a t!

Post # 28
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I am DEFINITELY B.  All my decisions are “what would be best for my guests?”  I’m having my wedding near my family, which is why it’s technically a destination wedding.  People are going to go to Rio, and have a great time, regardless of how the wedding goes (it’s Rio de Janeiro, after all!), but I want the wedding to be a party, a celebration with my family and friends and I want it to be worth it!  I want them to love it! 

And I’m definitely doing Out of Town bags!  I figured it’s the least I can do!

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