Different ways to show affection and care.

posted 2 weeks ago in 40 Something
Post # 2
Member
3759 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

He may not NEED you to do certain things, but it doesn’t mean he wouldn’t appreciate his favorite meal or dessert, going out to his favorite restaurant, going to see a movie of his choice, etc. What is he interested in? 

Post # 3
Member
2534 posts
Sugar bee

Everyone is different.  But I can tell you I really appreciate it and feel loved when someone does the chores I hate.  Stuff like scooping the litter box/changing the cat litter, scrubbing the toilet, running certain errands.  I’m sure there’s some task or errand he dislikes!

Or when someone remembers tiny things I’ve mentioned and follows up on it. For example, if I mention I love a particular kind of food, surprise me with reservations to a restaurant that serves it. If I mention I loved a certain candy or type of tea I had when I was in another country, I would love to be surpised with a box of it.

Find out what he values – physical affection? spending time with him?

Post # 7
Member
3759 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Maybe you can find tickets to a local sports team event? Depending on the weather where you are, maybe plan a camping trip or something since he likes the outdoors…or going on a hike somewhere. Or since he likes massages maybe invest in a massage oil kit and watch some YouTube videos so you can give him massages yourself? 

Post # 9
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2020 - Concord, Ontario

My fiancée likes to have her feet massaged . We are a very touchy geeky couple so any affection is always pleasurable.

Post # 11
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee

Maybe a side note, but I am vegan and I appreciate how when we were early on in dating, my fiance took the time to get to know what that meant when it came to sharing meals with me. When I met his family for the first time, they had prepared special vegan dishes to serve alongside their regular dishes. He started stocking his fridge with things for me as well so I always had something to eat, after he learned what my favorite food items were.

 

The guy you may be seeing may not need you to cook for him, but certainly I would imagine anyone would appreciate that the person they are seeing takes an active interest in making sure that they are comfortable and feel welcomed — and what better way than to learn how to make some vegan dishes and have stuff on hand so you can both cook together?

 

On the flipside, my fiance is very frugal and self sufficient, but he loves ducks and duck hunting (he does it every fall with his family and friends). One of our early dates we went to a local museum that had a duck decoy exhibit, I took interest in what his favorite ducks were (silly I know), and I decided for Christmas this past year to buy a blank duck decoy and hand paint it with the coloring of his favorite duck.

 

So that would be another thing. Take some interest in the things he enjoys and try to learn a little bit. Keep that info in the back of your mind. Ways to show that you listen and care will come naturally because you will start to pick up on things and think, “Oh, he would really enjoy this I bet!”

 

ETA: Not sure how familiar you are with Love Languages but it could be worth looking into so you can learn your love language and try to learn what his love language is

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