(Closed) Differing opinions on owning a pet in the future…. Help! (POLL)

posted 3 years ago in Pets
  • poll: Differing opinions on owning a pet:
    Never had a pet growing up, and wouldn't be able to be with someone who HAD to have one. : (3 votes)
    2 %
    Never had a pet growing up, but grew to be ok with the pet that SO wanted. : (5 votes)
    3 %
    Never had a pet growing up, but mind was changed and LOVE having one now. : (8 votes)
    5 %
    Had a pet growing up and would be fine with not getting one again because of the relationship. : (38 votes)
    22 %
    Had a pet growing up and would NOT be able to be with someone who REFUSED to get one. : (122 votes)
    69 %
  • Post # 46
    Member
    967 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2018 - Tizer Gardens/Carroll College

    Sometimes I think having a bigger dog is better than a little dog. They seem to have more boundaries, where people with little dogs let them be on the furniture and beds and so forth because they are little, and bending down/getting on the floor to give one attention is not on my fun list.

    With a bigger dog, you can reach them easier to give attention, and having one on your furniture or bed is  more inconvienient.

    I always grew up in a house with big dogs. Our dogs were allowed in the kitchen, but not the bedrooms, and in general not the living room. Unfortunately, my FTB has a little dog. Who is used to sitting in any chair he pleases, and lying in every bed in the house… I worry when he moves in that my allergies will not tolerate his general dirtyness, but I love my guy, and his dog, so I will try to compromise as best as we can.

    Compromise is what it’s all about after all, right?

    Post # 47
    Member
    1011 posts
    Bumble bee

    plannerbear520 :  Haha it definitely helped, but the dog actually had a couple of accidents in my BF’s office because he’d get so caught up in meeting that he’d make the dog wait too long. Totally his mistake!

    Post # 48
    Member
    5159 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2010

     plannerbear520 :  Our cat is awesome.  You can train cats too, including not to go on counters. Our cat only realizes she is a cat when she wants to remind us she is the boss. The rest of the time she seems to think she is either a dog (greeting us at door, wanting to play all the time, including fetching her toys and bringing them back, and go for walks), or human (wanting to chat with us, and go for walks because humans do that too).

    Post # 49
    Member
    4231 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

    I am a cat person and Darling Husband is a dog person. When we started dating I already had a cat…and getting rid of her was non-negotiable….we even got a second one after moving in together! Growing up I was actually TERRIFIED of dogs due to a traumatic experience. In adulthood I am still uneasy around them…even the little ones. Darling Husband grew up with a dog and definetly wants one. When we were dating/engaged we were aware of each others feelings, but with the cats and living in a one bedroom apartment – and later my FIL’s house – having a dog was out of the question. The issue kind of fell to the wayside. Now we are married, own our own condo and I’m pregnant with baby #1. Darling Husband has started to bring it up again. Now I am even more leery of it because of my childhood experience…and I don’t want to constantly be worried about the dog attacking my baby.

    Father-In-Law gave us the best advice. He said “wait until your kid(s) are old enough to convince you they want a dog. If they are too young to ask, they are too young to have a dog in the house. I guess I can live with that logic.

    As for the issues of the animal itself…speaking as the owner of two cats: pet hair on the furtature isn’t as big of a deal as it seems. I vaccum once a week, and that seems to be enough to keep on top of it. Also, each cat has a ‘favourite spot’ I put a towel over and wash regularily. I also don’t allow them in the bedroom…especially when we are sleeping.

    PS…every dog owner I’ve ever known (including DH) have crate trained their dogs and it isn’t cruel or mean.

    Post # 51
    Member
    3 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    Honestly, not all dogs are as high maintenance as you’re making them out to be. I got my dog as a rescue when she was about 3 months old. She was and still is so easy to take care of. I always had large dogs growing up so I was fairly familiar with how to take care of them. My rescue is a little one though, she’s a Maltese Poodle mix and was only about 3 pounds when I got her and only 10 pounds now full grown. It took me maybe a week or two to potty train her, it’s really not as much work as people make it out to be. Just take the dog out often. I started with going out about every hour or two when I first brought her home and then increased it from there. She had a few accidents in the first month but she always knew that she messed up and wasn’t supposed to do that. She doesn’t shed either which was a huge plus for me. I grew up with dogs that were massive shedders and I never knew how much I would appreciate a dog that didn’t shed till I got her. I do think your husband is being very naive when it comes to crate training though (specifically if you get a puppy). I crated my dog up until she was about a year and a half old. It was safer for her to be in the crate rather than getting into something while I was gone and possibly hurting herself. Plus, because she began to think of her crate as her little home while I was gone – she would never have an accident in it. Dogs are smart, they don’t want to have an accident in their ‘home.’ Also, I know you mentioned walking the dog. Another plus of a smaller dog, they don’t require as much exercise. I’m probably one of the bad dog moms here in the sense that I don’t walk my dog ever really. I did every now and then when she was younger but my schedule doesn’t really permit me to now. The most exercise she gets is when i take her with me to get the mail which is just across the street. It doesn’t bother her though, I don’t come home to a dog bouncing off the walls everyday from excessive energy. While she does go crazy when I come home because she’s so happy to see me, it’ll lead to her playing for about 10 minutes with one of her toys and then she’ll lay down for a nap.

    I know you mentioned long hours, which would definitely hinder your ability to care for a dog, but other couples with full time jobs do it so it isn’t impossible. If I know I’m going to have an exceptionally long day, I end up dropping my dog off at one of my family members’ houses who will be home at a reasonable time to let her out. Also, if you have neighbors who have young teens you can ask them to let the dog out and give them some money each week. The kids usually enjoy it and it doesn’t cost a fortune.

    Post # 52
    Member
    1536 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    plannerbear520 :  Yeah it was the powerstrip with the PS4 and TV plugged into it that my puppy had the fun encounter with…  

    If your husband doesn’t want to walk the dog, then he shouldn’t get one.  Even little ones need exercise.  I’m sure you know that you get one million times more behavioral problems, chewed up furniture, etc. if a dog has pent-up energy.  Walking my dog for ~20 minutes at a brisk pace buys me pretty much an entire night of gaming in peace while he sleeps on the floor next to me with his chin on my feet, AND I get exercise to boot.  So to me that is totally worth it from a purely selfish standpoint.  He wants a bigger dog too?  Small ones have WAY more energy IMO.  No bueno for you guys. 

    What it sounds like your husband wants is actually a cat. I know he said he is dead set against getting a cat, but from your description of how he is envisioning the pet situation, his vision fits cats and NOT dogs.  My two are super low-maintenance and I purposely got two in the first place, since I’m gone all weekdays working and I travel quite a bit for my job.  When I’m gone my two babies keep each other company, as opposed to just one that’s completely dependent upon me for companionship and so when I’m not there, he gets bored and decides to pee in my stuff or scratch them up.

    Either that or what he wants is actually a dog that OTHER people can do the hard work of taking care of, and he can just enjoy the companionship and affection ON HIS TERMS and ON HIS SCHEDULE, not the dog’s.  Yeah, don’t “compromise” yourself into that situation.  If that is the case, having the dog at his parents’ is already the perfect solution.   

    Post # 53
    Member
    2098 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I’m sorry but you won’t do pets, won’t do kids…It sounds like a really lonely existence. And yes, I know I’m being a judgmental bitch saying that outloud. I just can’t help but think about not having one or the other being fine, but both?! What in the world do you take pictures of?! ( mostly kidding)

    Post # 55
    Member
    391 posts
    Helper bee

    Don’t get me wrong–I love pets and especially cats.  We always had a cat when I was growing up.  However, I’m also allergic to pet dander and don’t really like caring for a pet nor do I want them on my bed, kitchen table, counters, ect…

    So, we have a cat that I love and wouldn’t give up for the world, despite the fact she does have a bit of a negative impact on my breathing.  However, Darling Husband does 100% of her care, including feeding, grooming, vet care ect…  In part because I’m allergic and in part because if it was up to me I’d choose not to have a pet because I don’t want to care for one.

    If you really don’t want a pet and he can’t live without one and you two can’t compromise I don’t honestly see how it would work.

    Post # 57
    Member
    19 posts
    Newbee

    My short story is:

    – No pets growing up.  Don’t really like animals at all.  Of note, my home is almost entirely white and black with leather and glass.  I do not like messes.

    – SO had a cat when we started dating.  Then we moved in together.

    – For him, giving up the cat was a deal breaker.  For me, the cat was annoying, scratched up all the leather and carpet, ate smelly soft food, the litterbox is a disgusting idea, and I am mildly allergic eye-wise to cat dander… but not a “dealbreaker”.

    – So the cat moved in too.  The person for whom it is not a dealbreaker, yielded.

    – End of story: our living situation is fine.  I do not interact with it.  I get prescription allergy eyedrops.  He deals with its food and litterbox.  The housecleaner just has to come more regularly.

     

    Post # 58
    Member
    3 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    plannerbear520 :  No one can take a puppy out that often if they work full time! That’s just the potty training process I chose to do with her (and it worked) but you definitely have other options. Due to her size, I could have chosen to use puppy pads. Which is basically just a pad you leave in the house for them to use the bathroom on. Kind of like a litter box. You wouldn’t ever have to let the dog out then. Forewarning with those though, most dogs have a hard time switching from puppy pads to the outdoors. So if you decide you don’t like the pads, which I’m guessing you won’t because of your germ issues, then the dog will probably struggle to adapt to another form. Also, I don’t think I would ever want to use them for a bigger dog. What I chose to do was to bring my dog home over one of my vacations where I was home to get her acclimated to her new environment and potty train her.

    Post # 60
    Member
    5028 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2017

    I admit that I didn’t read your post but I did read and participate in the poll.  I grew up with pets and so did my Fiance.  Fortunately my Fiance is a huge animal lover and appreciates the bond between man and pet.  We have two cats together that we love dearly.  He is trying to convince me to get a dog and I am a little hesitant because they are a little more higher maintenance.  But I will consider it.

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