Post # 76
I totally get this.
When I met dh, I lived in the boonies and had five German Shepherds. Every guy I dated claimed to be a dog lover, but none of them could really deal with big German Shedders. They all were people lovers.
Then I met dh. He cultivated a relationship with each dog. If you’ve ever had a GSD, you know what that means. I told him early on that eventually, I’d be able to describe a behavior and he’d be able to tell me which dog did it. That happened.
Years later, at our wedding someone asked how we met. Dh: She had these really great dogs . . .
Ok, that may be a tad over the top even for me.
We have a smaller pack now and live in the suburbs, but the dogs are still the center of our universe. Dh is fully engaged. We participate in a dog sport.
No guy got anywhere with me if he couldn’t fall in love with five GSDs. It’s just who I am.
Post # 77
I ticked your last box.
I adore my dog with all my heart and I can’t imagine having to live my life knowing I would never have that kind of companionship again. Getting to cuddle with her at night is often one of the highlights of my day.
That being said, I sympathize with you a lot. I can not stand for my dog getting literally anywhere near where my head rests (grosses me out to the point I would wash the sheets if she got up there) and I was also raised in a family where you had to wash your hands after touching a pet and wash them immediately (because rabies or something equally ridiculous). We didn’t get my first dog until I was ~10ish, so that hand washing habit has carried over into all my dogs.
But the thing is, I don’t think you’re necessarily opposed to having a dog, it just sounds like you don’t want all the work that goes along with it, you want there to be boundaries in place, and you’d be okay if you never had a dog.
So, I think there is compromise to be had. He can have a dog but it will be “his” dog and he’ll have to accept what makes you uncomfortable will be unacceptable for the dog to do. Yes, get an older and smaller dog who’s more mellow. Yes, insist that because this would primarily be “his” dog that if he wasn’t around during his busy times that it would be a dog walker walking the dog and not you. Yes, insist that the dog never be allowed anywhere near where your head goes on the bed. Yes, insist either on crate training or that your Darling Husband be both the person to take the dog out at night and the one who cleans up every single accident.
Post # 78
I’ve never had a dog. I like dogs and other people’s dogs seem to get very fond of me.
We don’t have a dog because both I and my husband work full time, and both of us work at a considerable distance from our house. If we did have a dog it would spend too many hours alone in the house even if we hired a dog walker. So until the day comes when we have much more time at home we are not having a dog.
So unless you have time and money for a dog, and you really have the opportunity to give the dog an active and fulfilling life, I wouldn’t advise you to even contemplate having a dog.
If sometime in the future you both wish to get a dog then you would need to choose it carefully for temperament (not cuteness for goodness sake) and you’d need to train it. You would need to decide whether or not to allow it in the bedroom, in the kitchen, on the sofa, etc.
As far as fear of germs is concerned, this is a separate issue. Whether you get a pet or not you should still get counselling for this phobia.