Post # 1
I have been having a difficult time with my bridesmaids from the begining. After I asked my 5 bridesmaids, we got started on the dress search. They all decided mismatched dresses were the only way to go, and I was apprehensive at first but I gave it the ok. I chose the colors and the fabric, and gave them all guidelines of no clevage, and needs to be about knee length. Well the about knee length rule just about killed everyone, it was like I was asking them to wear potato sacks or something they were all appalled at the thought of a dress that long! The wedding is in the summer in Hawaii, not at a beach but at a ranch. I understand a wedding in Hawaii is relaxed and all but I still wanted it to have a touch of class. After months of batteling over dresses that showed too much clevage (one bridesmaid told me unless she has clevage showing she wont look cute) and others trying to get away with mini dresses that you would wear to Vegas for a bachelorette party, we finally came to an agreement. Now were fighting over shoes. I am pretty short, at 5’1 and my heels are about 2 inches, nothing too tall. I told my bridesmaids who are about my hight or a little taller that I do not want them towering over me in tall heels. Now I’m getting complaints about how one can’t wear her 5 inch heels to the wedding. One bridesmaid who paid $17 for her dress is complaining to me she can’t afford $30 shoes when shes leaving for Vegas right after the wedding to gamble. They are telling me I need to chill out and stop stressing over stupid things and let them wear whatever shoes they want even if it means 5 inch heels (IN GRASS!!!) Am I really that ridiculous to ask my bridesmaids to not tower over me???
Post # 3
I feel like low heels+knee lenght dresses is a super unflattering look.
do you really care if they look taller than you? it doesn’t mean they’ll be stealing your thunder or anything.
Post # 4
Well the dresses are little above knee length which is fine, I just don’t think having one girl wear 5 inch heels and others wear flats (a couple of them want flats/sandals) will look good, but maybe I’m wrong. I guess I just got annoyed with the way my bridesmaids talked back to me. They all wanted Toms at first but I’m not a huge fan of the dresses and Toms look, and my fiance can’t stand Toms. So I suggested sandles or flats to them and 2 of them responded that flats would be ‘tacky’ but Toms wouldn’t be but since I said no to that the 5 inch heels were the next option for them.
Post # 5
@frescalini: I see your point, but I say pick your battles. This is not a fight worth fighting.
Post # 6
I see where you’re coming from, but from their point of view it may seem like you’re choosing very unflattering, modest looks that stray from how they envision themselves being seen at the ceremony and in photos. Your choices are completely logical, but it may be a matter of give a little, get a little 🙁
Post # 7
I do think that trying to dictate your bridesmaids shoes so that they won’t be taller than you is a little silly. That said… it sounds like you have a very unsympathetic, unsupportive group on your hands. Are these women really your closest friends? Because it sounds like all they care about is how cute they look, not supporting you on your wedding day.
Post # 8
As someone who would need 5 inch heels and barefoot bridesmaids to be taller than some of my girls, I think asking them to wear shorter heels just so they won’t be taller than you is crazy. I think set a “formality” level for the heels and let them go for it. At the end of the day, no one is going to pay attention to what the bridesmaids wear on their feet.
Post # 10
Thanks guys. I know the shoes are not a huge deal, just wanted my bridesmaid to respect what I wanted instead of being selfish. I’ll get over it 🙂
Post # 11
You’re the bride, it’s your day, your rule. If they are your friends, they’ll just suck it up and do it for YOU. Heck…Just tell them ALL to wear ballet flats….if i were you, I’ll even pay for their dresses and shoes so there’s no argument.