(Closed) Difficult Dad – How do I deal with it?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

@aconwell- Oh boy, I’m so sorry.  You may never know why he is refusing to do this if he refuses to share.  I wouldn’t push him too much, but I suppose that’s because I seem to make my dad mad kind of easily.

But I did learn one lesson at my wedding, and that is: if someone is unwilling or hesitant to do something for the wedding, just let it go.  We had a little incident at a crucial part in our ceremony because my dad balked at the last minute (in the midst of the actual ceremony).  It will leave a lasting memory of what happened, and I would rather have not had it happen at all.

I know it’s hard.  We all want to have the support of our families in the way that *we* need it, but sometimes they can only give us what *they* have to give.  It might be best to let this idea go and ask your dad how he would like to participate in the ceremony (if at all).

I’m wishing you the best, and I really know how you feel!

Post # 4
495 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Could it be because your step-mom has not been asked? DG is right you may never know unless he tells you after this most recent email.  Have you tried talking to him in person or at least on the phone? Sometimes that is an easier way (although harder emotionally) to get the most straight forward answer.  DG is right though, you may need to just let this go and have your mom do it by herself.  I’m so sorry you’re having this difficulty though!

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