- 5 years ago
- Wedding: December 2015
SO and I talke about our future, getting married, kids, a house and everything before. It was pretty clear we both want the same things. When I brought up having a timeline for our future everything just went downhill. SO couldn’t give me a timeline. this was about two months ago. I figured no big deal give him time to think.
But as I was waiting for him I think. I have started doubting myself, my worth, what I have to offer. I became very guarded and upset around him. today we had another Emotion filled talk. He does want all those things with me but he comes from parents of a failed marriage and that left him very scarred about marriage. He does recognize that. (His parents had a nasty split when he was a child, my parents have been together for 30 years. very different experiences). He pulled the it’s just a piece of paper and nothing would change in our relationship card, he is committed to me as muh as any man who is married. I said if it was just a piece of paper then, what was the big deal? Nothing would change so Why cant he do that for me? He had no response to that.
We do not live together. he knows about my goals of having a family. And I did tell him that unlike men, women Do have a limited time to do that. I did mention that to ease his hesitation we could move in together but I would need a timeline in order to be At peace with that compromise. He didn’t respond to that either. He wants to make that commitment to me but he doesn’t know when he will be ready to it. So in theory I could be waiting days or years.
I know he loves me. He’s not waiting to see if someone better comes along. I do believe this stems from his parents divorce. other than this he is a great person. I have nothing negative to say About him. I’m just torn. We have been together about 2.5 years and I’m in my late 20’s and he’s in his late 30’s.
Any advice or virtual hugs would be appreciated.