(Closed) Difficult Discussion

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

That is really tough. I haven’t had to do this, but perhaps you could explain that the symbolism of you coming into the marriage alone and of your free will, (and that he is too) is really important to you? Just a thought… if you have a reason to give other than the fact yoru relationship isnt stellar then it might make it an easier let down.

Post # 4
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m in a somewhat similar situation, but I don’t think my parents would care either way.  Hopefully someone who has talked to their parents about it can give some advice.

But I’d say just explain to them that people don’t always do the traditional thing anymore and that a lot of people walk down the aisle alone. Tell them that you like what it symbolizes.  I think it best not to bring up that your relationship with them is less than ideal.

Post # 5
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I would think first about whom (if anyone) you do want to escort you.  It’s a lot easier to say, “I really like the symbolism of coming of my own free will,” or “I’d really like my brother to escort me,” etc., than to say, “I wouldn’t walk down the aisle with you if you were the last person on earth!”

Post # 6
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

I think the bride walking solo will look fine!  It will put the focus 100% on you – and your groom.  Just tell your parents that you’ve decided you want to walk in by yourself.  To soften the news, you can say it will be nice for your dad to escort your mom so they can walk in together, instead of your mom walking alone.  No need to go into any more detail.  I hope they respect your wishes without any drama.  The “giving away” of the bride is a REALLY old tradition, dating back to when women were property and it was literally the FOB giving his daughter to her new owner/husband.  Ugh. 

Post # 8
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I agree that it would depend on if you were walking down the aisle yourself or if you were asking someone else to do it. If you were walking by yourself, it would be an easier conversation than if you have someone else walk you down the aisle. Though, if it is someone else, just explain how you feel that person was there for you for your entire life, and you want them to give you away. Good luck and hope all goes well.

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