Post # 1
I’m a bridesmaid in my friend’s upcoming wedding. I was going to host a bridal shower for my friend, but since the maid of honour is pregnant and is giving birth the month of the wedding, I stepped down to let the MoH do it.
The MoH wants to have a potluck for the shower, but is planning it in a way that could cause embarrasement and displeasure for the guests.
One of the problems lies in that she only allows Kosher food in her house. Any knife used to cut non-kosher meat cannot be used as well. Alone, this isn’t an issue, with a potluck it is.
So, she wants everone to bring whatever they’d like, but we’ll just have to eat it only outside, and no one can use cutlery from within her house (crossing my fingers for no rain).
Me and the only other local bridesmaid have gently tried to talked to her about the logistical issues twice now. We have tried to separate the major issues, and leave the minor ones alone (like how she’s pregnant so no one can drink alcoholic beverages at the shower).
But, this MoH simply won’t budge an inch, or even consider anything even slightly different from her exact plan (like our suggestion having the shower a little later than 11:00am since people are driving in from out of town won’t have to wake up at the crack of dawn).
What’s your advice? How do we get through to her about the major problems?
Post # 3
@canajen: Is the shower intended to be a surprise? If not, I would talk to the bride bc the MOH sounds a bit ridiculous.
Definite issues I see:
11AM?! Really? who would want to go to a shower that early unless it is some sort of breakfast/early brunch tea…even then I wouldnt be there at 11
outside? Like you said, what if it rains?
Post # 4
I agree, I’d talk to the bride. She’s probably closest to the MOH and can tell her what’s up.
Post # 5
I have no other advice than to talk to the bride, but this is insane. If you are this fussy, you either need to cook the food yourself, or to rent a hall somewhere. There’s nothing wrong with holding strict kosher, but you can’t expect everyone else to do the same, or to bend over backwards like this!
Post # 6
An outdoors shower might be ok depending on where you are/what time of year it is, and maybe plastic plates and cutlery would work ok. Will she not let anyone at all have a glass of champagne just because she’s pregnant?!
If it’s not a surprise then I’d talk to the bride, otherwise you probably have to suck it up.
Post # 7
Right.. I’ve rethought this. The most logical solution I can think of is that the MOH will have to tell everyone to only bring vegetarian food to the potluck. I think you need to be allowed in her house, and to use her facilities and plates, knives, forks etc, if she’s dead set on having it at her house.
You can’t tell people to bring kosher only food, because a lot of people don’t understand exactly what strict kosher entails. However, you can ask them to bring vegetarian or vegan only meals, which solves at least half of your problem. You could even make it part of the theme!
Post # 8
Thanks ladies for the advice. I spoke to the bride about this issue (jus the food) and it’s all worked out. Really appreciate you taking the time to help me!