(Closed) My Marriage is My Prison

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I am so sorry you’re going through this! Marriage should not feel that way. You said he doesn’t physically abuse you, but does he verbally or emotionally abuse you? Is he making you feel humiliated on purpose? Does he know you are feeling so bad?

Post # 5
3282 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1993

nevermind, I went dyslexic on a sentence. 

Post # 6
237 posts
Helper bee

If he is 23 and 6 years older than you you are currently 17 and if you have been married for 2 years you were 15 at the time of your wedding? Is this correct or am I reading this wrong?

Post # 8
2041 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I am so sorry that you are so unhappy and experiencing an unfulfilling marriage. What do you mean when you say he humiliates you? Is this something he actively does, i.e. talk down to you, verbally abuse you, etc?

Post # 9
656 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@hisgoosiegirl:  I think she was 21 (she’s 23, married 2 years)

OP: I’m in a similar spot, so I know how tough it is. Being in an unfulfilling marriage creates a huge hole in your life and is a constant source of pain. A lot of people don’t understand that it’s really not easy to live that way. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this and I hope things get better for you two. Has he changed since the wedding? What have you already tried to fix things? Is he open to fixing the marriage?

PM me if you want to talk privately.

Post # 10
2419 posts
Buzzing bee

No, the OP says *she’s* 23, which would mean she married at 21 to a 27-year-old who is now 29.

All that aside: it’s good that he’s a good man who doesn’t cheat or abuse you, but that on its own is not enough to make a marriage.

Post # 11
5995 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you don’t mind me asking, why did you marry him within 8 months if he treated you like that?

Your mentions of God make me think this is some sort of conservative Christian “it must be God’s will even if I don’t like it” thing. I’m a Christian so I can maybe offer some Christian perspective if that’s what you need.

Post # 13
1180 posts
Bumble bee

Well you have two choices as I see it.

Leave or get marriage counceling.

Post # 14
7039 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

It sounds like you got married before you truly knew yourself and were centered in your own identity. You can 1. try and find yourself now and hope your husband grows with you or 2. cut and run, and let yourself reach your full potential.

Post # 15
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@crayfish:  I agree with crayfish, in terms of you not knowing what you want/expect in a relationship. I would suggest marriage counseling if one-on-one with your husband does not work. He should compromise and understand that those things are important to you.

Post # 16
659 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time!  Hugs!

You are very courageous for seeking support in your situation!  I have a friend who was in a suffocating relationship and I saw how it destroyed her.  It made me so sad that I couldn’t do anything but listen. 

Does your husband have a willingness ot listen to you?  Is he respectful?  Does he treat you the same way as he treats other people (other than the ex)?  Hopefully he is not using you as his emotional punching bag.

If you are able and he listens, try to talk to him.  Though I have a feeling you are beyond that point.  Are you able to make it clear to him that if his behaviour towards you doesn’t change you will have no choice but to leave because he is killing you inside?  If he cares, he will wake up and work with you.  If he is using you, you deserve so much better for yourself and you need to take care of you!  Perhaps old wounds with the ex have not yet healed.  Can you talk to him to try to work through some of his hurt?  Can you express these feelings to of seeing yourself as second-best with him?

I always suggest take some time for yourself and go visit your family.  See your parents and talk it out with them if you can.  If not, at least you can take a breather to gather your thoughts.  Only you know what suits the situation the best.

Keep us posted 🙂


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