Difficulty TTC #2 after #1 was after 1 try

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
7425 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Just be kind to yourself. You are right that 3 months is nothing, though I know when I was on cycle 3 of TTC it already felt like I’d been at it forever. It’s natural to feel down and anxious about the whole thing, but the odds are in your favor that you’ll get pregnant again quickly.

Also I don’t understand feeling “cocky” about getting pregnant right away. Those who get it on their first try are just lucky, nothing more. It’s not an achievement, anymore than taking a long time to get pregnant means you’re a failure. So I’d try to stop thinking about it in those terms.

Post # 3
2329 posts
Buzzing bee

How old is #1? It can take a long time for your body and cycles to get back to “normal” after giving birth and breastfeeding, so definitely take that into account.

Post # 4
1988 posts
Buzzing bee

So I guess I’m one of those ‘pitchfork’ people bc i’ve been TTC #1 for over a year now. Getting BFNs suck whether it’s your first cycle or 16th cycle, but I don’t understand what being cocky has to do with it. Getting a BFP your first try is literally nothing other than luck, so you were cocky you’d get so lucky twice? Or you thought getting pregnant the first try was a skill you could repeat? 

As long as you’re doing the ‘right things’, it’s all a big roll of the dice when you’ll get a BFP and 3 months is completely normal. 

Post # 5
210 posts
Helper bee

My story isnt going to make you feel better but I’m in the same boat, only it’s been a year this August. We got pregnant with #1 in one try. Now we’ve been trying for 11 cycles and all that we’ve had is a chemical in February and now a chemical again this month. I was so happy to see that second line and I kept telling myself not to get excited but I did. For me it’s harder to see a BFP and have it ripped away than to not get one at all. 

I even somehow kept talking myself into things being okay when I started cramping. Even now as I’m bleeding bright red, I’m still testing and showing a faint second line that’s gotten slightly darker. I know better but even now I’m still the tiniest bit hopeful. It’s really hard. 


And I can understand the cocky part as well. When you’ve never had TTC issues before you just assume it’ll be easy for you and it’ll go perfectly like the last time. It’s a kick in the gut and especially devastating when you realize you’re not immune to problems TTC. Good luck.

Post # 10
907 posts
Busy bee

I get what you mean about feeling cocky. I am over a year TTC with #1 still! But, with no history of infertility on either my side or DH’s side of the family, I was certain we would be pregnant within the first few months. Ha. Shows me right.

The negatives never get easier, but it’s nice that you know you can get pregnant and I’m sure that BFP is right around the corner for you!

I think I’ve read about something called “secondary infertility” where a woman has a much harder time having a second child after having their first. Obviously, you are still far from that point, but if you get to that one year mark still with no baby #2, you may want to schedule to see your RE for possible infertility treatments.

Post # 11
7425 posts
Busy Beekeeper

mrsrekraps22 :  I get what you’re saying. My point is that it’s all a matter of luck, so just try not to be so hard on yourself. You can do everything “right,” have perfectly timed sex every cycle, maintain a perfect diet, take all the right supplements, etc., and still not get pregnant for ages. I have a friend who got pregnant on her very first cycle trying and unfortunately miscarried. It took her another SIX YEARS to finally get pregnant again (luckily she is due to deliver any day now and everything looks good). Obviously that is an extreme story but it goes to show you how unpredictable TTC can be.

Also, pp is right that since you’re postpartum your body may still be adjusting and that could explain why it’s taking a bit of time. Even though your cycles may appear totally regular, you still may have some hormonal stuff going on at 11 months pp. 

Post # 12
356 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I feel you. I’m not quite the same because it did take us 3 or 4 cycles to get pregnant with our daughter. But, we have tried 3 cycles this time around without luck and I was sure that I’d be pregnant by now. We are now taking a forced break because my husband travelled to some potential zika territory, but we will likely try again next month and I’m feeling anxious about it. Part of me feels like it has to happen because I was able to get pregnant the first time around, but the other part of me lives in fear of secondary infertility. Good luck – I hope your BFP is right around the corner!

Post # 13
2174 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
mrsrekraps22 :  Confident might have been a better word there. You felt confident that your experience TTC #2 would be the same as the first time. As you’re picking up, there’s a lot of pain with TTC, particularly with infertility, so posts like yours are emotionally charged even if your language is pristine. 

As to advice: I’d reiterate what PP have said: your period returning doesn’t mean you’re ovulating or that you’d be able to sustain a pregnancy at 11 months postpartum. But, if you’re tracking ovulation,confident that your BDing during your FW and still not pregnant at 6 months, you may want to see a specialist. There may be an underlying fertility issue that is new to you, or existed before and you just got exceedingly luckly the first time around.

But at 3 months, there’s really nothing to do. It’s frustrating not getting pregnant when you want to. In some ways, I was more frustrated at 3 months than I am at 13! But all you can do is just keep trying and hope that you won’t have to go through many more cycles to get your next BFP.

Post # 14
4905 posts
Honey bee

Perfectly healthy fertile people don’t always get pregnant the first month.  I would try to reframe your thought process to steer it away from think of it as having “trouble” or “difficulty” getting pregnant.   You have no evidence you are having trouble getting pregnant. All you know is you aren’t pregnant. It is the virtual crapshoot that is human conception.  Basically, all that has happened so far is the first time you bought a lottery ticket you matched all the numbers and won the jackpot and now you’re upset that you don’t win the lottery everytime you buy a ticket.  That’s just not how human bodies or lotteries work. 

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