Difficulty TTC #2 after #1 was after 1 try

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 16
Member
1988 posts
Buzzing bee

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mrsrekraps22 :  I read your updates and understand better what you are saying, but I still wouldn’t categorize you as ‘having trouble’ concieving. If I read your original post correctly, you have had 2 failed cycles and are in your third, right? The majority of perfectly healthy, fertile people won’t be pregnant, yet. There’s no reason to start raising the ‘trouble ttc’ flag just yet. 

Post # 17
Member
210 posts
Helper bee

I really think people are being too harsh on you. You weren’t trying to  be hurtful. Just throwing that out there. 

Post # 18
Member
1390 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

*sorry “pitchfork” lady.*

I totally get what you mean. I felt the same way when we started TTC. My mom and all 3 of my sisters have accidentally gotten pregnant and the times my parents were trying it happened very fast. 

So when we started trying I was thinking to myself “oh this will be easy!” Boy was I wrong. We started in October 2016 and haven’t seen a bfp yet.

I know it’s hard but try to remember 3 months is nothing. I’m sure you’ll get your bfp soon. Until then remember it’s okay to be frustrated, and cry if you need to.

Post # 19
Member
1209 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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mrsrekraps22 :  I know it’s frustrating, but it’s totally normal. You just have to find a way to keep it from driving you crazy. 

Full disclosure, I am bitter and probably considered a pickfork lady. I have one DS, who was concieved 2 months, very little effort. We started trying again in the summer of 2016. Yes, you heard that right 2 years ago. Since that time, I’ve had an ectopic pregnancy and 2 missed miscarriages. Shocking after being able to get pregnant so easily with my son. So to me 3 months is an absolute drop in the bucket and nothing to bat an eye at. 

That’s not to say that I don’t get how someone could become frustrated after 3 months. Perspective is always a good thing. 

Post # 21
Member
5397 posts
Bee Keeper

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mrsrekraps22 :  I normally don’t go in these boards. But I think what you wanted to say is that you started ttc with #2 with overconfidence since it happened on first try with your first baby. So perhaps overconfident was a better choice of word instead of cocky? Just understand too that there are plenty of women here who are struggling with getting pregnant for a really long time and it can be a very emotional topic for them. However, I don’t think you meant anything negative and just wanted to vent.

Post # 23
Member
9791 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Do you breastfeed still?  I got my period back after #1 at 7.5mo pp and though I had regular cycles I O’d late in my cycle and had a 7 day luteal phase until I quit pumping at work and dropped down to nursing 2x a day.  Then it went up to a 9-10 day luteal phase.  I was TTA, but it would have been much more difficult to get pregnant with a 7 day luteal phase.  I also got pregnant with #1 on the first try, but I breastfeeding can affect fertility even though you have a cycle. It’s your body’s and nature’s way of trying to space pregnancies for the benefit of the mother/baby.

Post # 24
Member
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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mrsrekraps22 :  You don’t have to continue to explain yourself. It’s obvious you didn’t mean anything hurtful. Either way, people who are TTC can be extremely sensitive, so any time someone gets pregnant easily and complains, seemingly innocent words will be picked apart. I get that it was just a vent. Honestly, cocky is the perfect word. It implies impertinent arrogance. Obviously, you did nothing to get pregnant quickly. Just like people who take a long time do nothing wrong. When I hear “confidence” I think of a skill, which getting pregnant is most certainly not.

Honestly, I would take more issue with the “pitchfork” comment. That was a bit insulting. I don’t get why “cocky” was the word to focus on. 

Either way, it’s all semantics. The bottom line is, based on your past, you thought you would pregnant quickly and you didn’t, and you are copping to your naive and silly thinking. Hopefully, this is not secondary infertility, and it will happen soon. It’s only been 3 months, so you are definitely not in a dangerous territory. Chances are good for you because you have had a successful full term pregnancy. Good luck with everything. 

Post # 25
Member
1283 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

While I understand your frustration, I do think you probably could have anticipated that 3 months of trying isn’t very long, I mean you did put a caveat against pitchforks in your Original post. So maybe you could have anticipated that people wouldn’t necessarily respond well haha.

 

anywways 2.5 yo dd was conceived with having sex on time first cycle semi trying. Now I’m one year into trying to conceive number two and have had two miscarriages. One at 5 weeks naturally and one at 9 weeks that required both medication and finally a d&c to process. Secondary infertility is common. Not conceiving the First few months of trying is even more common…

Post # 26
Member
5397 posts
Bee Keeper

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mrsrekraps22 :  Whether they are synonyms or not, overconfidence just seems a bit more gentle than your choice of word. I even wrote out that you are just venting and didn’t mean anything bad if you read my response above. Look, I am just trying to help you out to soften some of the blows you are getting here. You can take it or leave it. If you don’t want the help, it won’t affect me either way.

Post # 27
Member
4417 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

TTC’ing can be a rollercoaster, even if it doesn’t take “that” long. It is very emotional, and the stakes are high. I think it’s only natural that if it was easy the first time you’d assume it would be easy the second. All your previous experience told you that. Just like couples who struggle the first time assume they will the second time: that’s what their experience has taught them.

I want to reiterate that while there isn’t necessarily anything WRONG, and 3 months is totally within the window of how long is considered a normal timeframe to conceive, you are still pretty recent from giving birth. Particularly if you started trying 3 months ago, so your daghter was about 8 months. While you may be getting your period, it doesn’t necessarily mean things like your uterine lining or hormone levels are quite there yet when it comes to sustaining a healthy pregnancy. It may just be that your body needs a bit more time to reset itself.

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