(Closed) Difficulty with FI's Friends….

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

First of all paragraphs. Second, I’m confused. You stopped seeking out BM’s wife for conversations because she belittled you for not agreeing with her so now the rest of FI’s friends have an issue with you according to BM? It sounds to me like the Bridesmaid or Best Man is stirring up drama. I would talk to people directly and aviod intermediaries. Having other people deliver your opinions/issues is very high school.

Post # 5
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Sounds like your best man is a bit of a s**t stirrer. Can you invite those voncernedbover without him and his wife and talk to them with your fi to get to the bottom of it. Personally i wouldnt enable bm or his wife, be polite and civil but youre not obliged to be best pals with them. Its nice when it worksout that way but tbh it just sounds like they like the attention. You’re better than that 🙂

Post # 6
Member
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@lovelylight99:  lol It’s generally the people that cry ‘I hate drama’ the loudest that are the ones that stir it up the most! It’s like my teenage daughter saying ‘I’m mature’…’No, honey…you’re not…especially when you say that and stomp your feet and pout at the same time!’

Post # 7
Member
4284 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@lovelylight99:  Distance yourself from these people. It’s not worth your time or energy. I hope your fiance is taking your side and sticking up for you as well. Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Honestly wtf is this high school??? I find ridiculous. As far as I’m concern I don’t need to be “friends” with any of my Fi friends and their spouses. I only had drama with one girlfriend and I kept it on the surface level and no issues since then.

Don’t listen to their nonsense, don’t go asking people “what you did wrong”. I think sometimes it’s best to be friend and polite then you keeping it moving. By the way he needs to watch his tone and how he speaks to you. You aren’t his child and he sounds like a total ass with that text.

My advice is don’t engage with them and do exactly opposite of what he said ignore the wife, don’t’ text and talk to her. when you see her person be polite but keep it a surface relationship.

Post # 9
Member
7652 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

My Darling Husband friends wives I speak to when I see them. I don’t text them often, except one, and she is kind of whiney so I just don’t answer her texts or I just say ok to whatever she says. Basically I let her rant. I don’t egg her on for more conversation. I would steer clear of these people and like a PP said, don’t ask what you did wrong. You probably didn’t do anything wrong. They are just sensitive and trying to start something.

Post # 11
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I had a similar thing happen with my Fiance’s friends about a year into our relationship right after we moved in together. Several of them realized I wasn’t going anywhere and this was a long term deal and now that we lived together their “bachelor” lifestyle of video games at OUR house until 3am four night a week just wasn’t going to fly. All of a sudden I was the bad guy (for having to get up at 4am for an hour long commute to work) and I (and all of Facebook. LOL!) was told by them that I was a controling b*tch and all the times we hung out and the friendly things I did for them (as I was starting to consider them my friends as well) I had done just so I could hold it over their heads.

It was really weird and immature. We stopped talking to them and for months (maybe even now still) they would continue to stalk of via facebook and make snide comments to mutual friends. We essentially cut them out of our lives after they wouldnt appologize and contunued to blame me.

It really sucks and I feel your pain. It was hard for us to deal with because this group was a really huge part of his life at that time but in the end, we could see what kind of people they were and our lives are so much better without them in it.

(As a side note, my fiance’s ex-best friend who was involved recently started chatting him up. I got really anxious and asked if he was planning to invite him to the wedding. He assured me he was not. He said he only wants people there who have supported our relationship and loved us through the whole thing. So that was a weight off my mind!)

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