(Closed) Difficulty with the guest list

posted 13 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2020 - The Desmond Hotel in Malvern, PA

1. I think inviting only the owners, your manager, and your close female co-worker sounds completely reasonable and natural. 

2. If you feel like having the male co-worker at your wedding would be in any way awkward, then it seems that you are not close enough to him to have him present during one of the most important days of your life.  I know it is hard to feel like you’re excluding people, but ultimately the day should be shared with those you feel close to.  If he is not one of them, you shouldn’t feel obligated to invite him.

3. Inviting gossipy women just for the sake of keeping them quiet does not seem worth it to me.  Some people just don’t have anything nice to say; unfortunately, they’ll probably have lots of things to say regardless of if they are or are not invited.  If they are not people you think of as important influences in your life, i would leave them off the list.

4. I get the feeling that you would regret not inviting anyone from work; you have every right to only invite those co-workers you are close with, and you shouldn’t feel bad about this decision.  People who are mature enough and understanding of the expense of weddings will be completely understanding; those who are not mature enough are not worth your time and worry (or an invitation!).  I know this is easier said than done, but it’s not worth you breaking the bank our maxing out your reception venue just to make others happy.  This is YOUR turn to be happy

Good luck!

Post # 4
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I also have difficulties with guestlist with regards to coworkers too!  Invite those you want at the wedding, those that matter don’t mind and those that mind don’t matter!  My fiance is inviting his whole office (he is closed to them all), but i’m inviting only those that have been there for me and that I considered them "friends." So very selected few. =)

Post # 5
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

I wouldn’t worry about it too much. People’s feelings probably won’t be that hurt, particularly if you aren’t friends with them. A girl in my office is having her wedding in a week, and she is only inviting her supervisor, another supervisor she works with, and another work friend. Yeah, when I found out, I was a little annoyed because I do hang out with her sometimes, but I wasn’t really offended. If you wouldn’t buy them lunch or they wouldn’t by you lunch, I wouldn’t invite them or feel bad about not inviting them. Best of luck!

Post # 6
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2007

1.  No, this is perfectly appropriate. Chances are the three owners/spouses will not attend. Your manager/spouse and the girl you work with/spouse may attend.
2. Nope. Not at all – have you ever gotten together with him outside of work? That was my barometer for work invites.
3. Those women will gossip regardless. Annoying? Yes! But unavoidable no matter what choice you make.
4. That’s your personal choice. Do you feel you would miss your manager and the girl you work with if they did not attend your wedding? If not, don’t invite anyone – that would counter balance your mom’s crazy invite list anyway!

Post # 7
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2007

1) No; it’s perfectly acceptable.

2) Eh, probably not. Sounds like it’ll be awkward either way — invite him = awkward ’cause you don’t know each other well; don’t invite = maybe you’ll feel a little weird at work later, but I think you’ll be fine.

3) NO! Forget ’em! Those kinds of people will find something to hate on regardless.

4) Probably, but it sounds like you would regret it.

My general rule of thumb was if I would never consider inviting them into our home for a meal I’d spent time/money/effort preparing, why would I invite them to the most important day of our lives? 

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