- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2015
So. We have a situation. My SO got a job in Culver City (which is in the Los Angeles area) this week, I got a job in El Monte (also in the LA area) also this week. He proposed moving in together – we are currently living separately – to Pasadena which is about halfway between my school and our work places. We currently live about 30-45 minutes away from Pasadena (sometimes more, depending on traffic).
I live in the 3 bedroom condo that I OWN. I pay about $1400 in mortgage and association fees, which is about $1000 cheaper than a comparable place in Pasadena. My condo is also newly renovated, in a good area, and in a nice, quiet association. I just bought and renovated my place last January/February, so it’s still kind of new to me and I do like living here. However, parking is a nightmare and I have roommates to help subsidize the expenses while I’m still in school. If we moved out to Pasadena we most likely will be living by ourselves – aka no roommates – but it’s not guaranteed, it all depends on how much my SO will be making. I also wouldn’t mind commuting, either driving or taking the train, and it would be cheaper than moving out there.
I would essentially be uprooting my whole life to move where he has wanted to move (first by himself or with his friends, he literally just asked ME if I wanted to move with him yesterday) for at least a year. We will probably have to sign at least a one year lease, so then I would try to get someone into my condo with a one year lease as well – which scares me because what if they leave me high and dry or I can’t get renters and I have to come up with the full amount due for however long? I can’t afford to do that right now.
Previously, we talked about getting engaged before moving in together. That was always what I believed would be the best thing to do for our relationship and my SO agreed. Then, when he was having issues with his mom – he lives with her and his two brothers, currently – I offered to let him move in so that he wouldn’t feel like he didn’t have any other place to go. Now that he’s brought up moving in together but in a NEW place; should I bring up being engaged before we move in together, again? I don’t want to push him into a proposal he’s not ready for, but I don’t really want to move in indefinitely until he’s “ready” for that next step. IMO if you’re ready to move in, you’re ready to be engaged. IDK, Bees. Help me. Am I being a control freak or unreasonable or anything? (Note: I definitely am a control freak about most some things)