Post # 1
So bees…I’ve reached my first major dilemma in wedding planning, and I need your advice!
Originally, Fiance and I had decided that we would get married in the church. Mostly for me (because it’s what I had always pictured) and for our parents. He was never crazy about the idea, but always willing to go along with it. We had more or less picked a church. We decided on the church where my parents, grandparents and aunt and uncle all got married. Very meaningful. Now, one of the big issues with the church is that it’s about 45 minutes away from the reception venue. This wouldn’t usually be a big deal, but the majority of our guest list is out of town and many of them are from small towns and are uncomfortable driving on their own in a big city. Renting a bus is out of our budget. My other concern is how Fiance feels. In my opinion the ceremony is the most important part of the day. The last thing I want is for Fiance to feel uncomfortable. He says that he won’t be, and he would be happy to do it in the church for me and our families..and he does love the fact that the church holds meaning in my family.
Ok…plan B. This wasn’t originally an option to us, but after discussing it for the past few days, we’ve realized that this might be the way to go. Our reception venue is at a golf course where Fiance works. The club is BEAUTIFUL, and now we’re thinking of having the ceremony there. Let me paint you a little picture! The ceremony would be held in the cocktail room. The room has large picture windows on 2 sides overlooking the golf course and a large fireplace on one of the other walls. Our wedding is taking place in December. So just imagine having the ceremony at around 4pm, just as the sun is starting to go down. The course would be snow covered. We would have the fireplace going. Candle light everywhere. A large twinkle lit christmas tree would be behind us as we said our vows. Sounds amazing right? 🙂 Here’s a pic of the room below. The furniture would be taken out and replaced with chairs. The left side wall has more windows than just the one you see there, they extend the whole way. We would be married at the back wall..where the alcove is and a tree behind us. You can see a bit of the fireplace on the right.
I’ve already told my mum about our idea, and she’s pretty sad about it. She said that it’s our wedding and she’ll support our decisions no matter what. But I know she’s extremely disappointed. Part of me feels a little sad too. I’d always pictured a church wedding, and I’m finding it hard to let what I’d imagined my whole life just go…..
Post # 4
I’m voting for church wedding. I think there’s far too much family tradition and sentimentality from you that I really don’t think you should sway from your original instinct. I know the reception venue ceremony sounds just lovely, but if I had a “family heirloom” (can i call it that?) in a church, I would totally go with that.
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2012 - Watch tower lodge, Black hawk state Park Rock Island, IL
I think it comes down to is how you picture your wedding, can you see yourself walking down an aisle at the venue?(which sounds and looks beautiful) or is your heart really set on the church? your mom may be disapointed but at the end of the day its about you and your SO. also just my own advise thought…if its december what if it snows really hard? that 45 min commute from church to venue could take well over that especially in bad road conditions…it may be a good idea to have everything at one location
Post # 6
I think your FI’s feelings about where he wants to get married trump those of your parents and family. You and your Fiance need to decide what the two of you want – it’s your wedding and marriage. (As an out of town guest, 45 min. is a bit further than I’d like to drive).
Post # 7
It’s a tough call but personally I’d go with having the ceremony at the reception venue, mainly because if my guests were uncomfortable with the drive, I’d feel really bad about putting them through it. A 15-minute drive, OK. But 45 minutes on unfamiliar roads in an unfamiliar city, I just couldn’t get fully on board with, especially if my fiance would be happier. Could you do a civil ceremony there, and a more intimate (immediate family only), less formal religious ceremony at the church the following week?
Post # 8
Reception venue. 45 minutes is too far to drive.
Post # 9
I really agree with what you’re all saying about the drive. It really is one of my main concerns. It would be about 30 minute drive from their hotel to the church, and then a 45 minute drive from the church to the venue. Really not ideal. Having the whole day take place at one venue is reaaaallly tempting. Plus, I honestly think that the ceremony at the club would be more “us”. Neither of us are very religious. The club holds so much meaning to the two of us as it is. I just hate to disappoint our families.
Post # 10
Your families will understand. They love you, and they will respect your choices. You should make a decision that is right for you and your fiance. It is your day, for the both of you. You should do what feels right for the two of you… And, I have to admit, a 45 minute drive in the snow sounds like a bit of a pain in the a$$. Sorry to say.
Post # 11
If neither of you are particularly religious, honestly that plus the distance would be more than enough for me to go with the golf course for the ceremony. The family tradition is wonderful, yes, but only if the two of you believe in it too. I understand how hard it must be to give up on that initial idea, of course, but just think- you hadn’t met your Fiance yet, maybe the golf course better fits you as a couple instead of you as a bride who happens to have a groom in the equation (not that I think you’re feeling like that, it’s just amybe it’s coming across like that a little to your FI?)
Post # 12
I can’t see the pictures 🙁
Post # 13
I voted for the church wedding. I myself am also a traditionalist. Most of our guests will be from out of town, and will have to drive 45 min from the church to the reception hall. I asked some people if they would mind, and all they said was “Just make sure I have enough time to get to the reception hall”. Don’t worry about it. 🙂
Post # 14
Church wedding. I think it adds elegance to a wedding, and plus what a nice tradition it would be to get married in the same church your family got married in =)