Post # 1
I live in a different country from my parents and some of my best friends.
Whenever I’ve visited home for the holidays, I had a lot of time (almost 4 weeks) because I taught at a college.
Now I have a different job and I will only be visiting for 2 weeks. That is still a great chunk of time, but I definitely cannot do what I used to do…
My priority is seeing my parents, grandparents, some dear extended family, and a few very very close friends. 2 weeks go by fast, and I’ve already made a lot of plans.
Now, other friends who I also love but am not as close to, are asking me when we’re going to see each other, etc. They have this certain expectation that we HAVE to get together as we always do.
It’s not that I don’t want to see them- but we already have SO much planned and we also need some time to chill out. Work for both of us has been hectic and we need some down time. I don’t want to be running from person to person all day.
Is there any way to handle this tactfully? Its wonderful to have people who want to see you, I don’t want to sound ungrateful or insensitive, but I don’t think they realize how much pressure my husband and I are now when we visit for such a short time and when I end up seeing my parents less and less every year. :-/
Post # 3
Just be honest with them about the shortened timeline and the need to spend the majority of it with family. Leave the door open to be able to see each other if time permits but say that right now you can’t commit to anything and would hate to have to cancel on them. They should understand that and if not, well that’s on them and not you.
Would it be possible to do a party/hangout and invite everyone to a bar or restaurant for one night?
Post # 4
These friends live in the area, right? They are not trying to pressure but genuinely want to see you. They are looking for direction from you. I would just pick one or two nights/days and tell them, SO and I will be here, on this day, please stop by! Maybe pick a bar or retaurant or diner, so many people can come, and plan to spend a night with everyone catching up. All the friends can show to the bar, and you can see them at the same time and mingle with all. Or pick two nights or a breakfast/brunch and invite all the friends. Or just an open house at your moms place or something where multiple people can show.
I wouldn’t spend time running all over, just let them know where you’ll be and let them come to you. Easiest way to do this is to mingle like groups, like friends/cousins so you can hit everyone at the same time. Good luck!
Post # 5
I live internationally and do the same thing on a yearly basis. I try to section off a little friend time to see everyone together. When they ask to see you again, there’s nothing left to do but tell them it’s not possible.
Post # 6
@kerensa: I agree. I have overseas-living friends who do this. They set a night, be it a cafe or someone’s house or whatever. On that night, their wider circle of friends can visit them. The date is put out well in advance (using facebook these days). If someone can’t be there that night, well too bad.