(Closed) Dilemma – Friend asking if she can stay over in my bridal suite???

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should I let my friend stay with me in the bridal suite, the night before the wedding?
    Yes. : (19 votes)
    8 %
    No. : (227 votes)
    92 %
  • Post # 31
    Member
    1754 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

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    sarizzle:  exactly! Now you have to deal with someone staying in your apartment… in your bed? How far is that going to go? And OMG the potential key issues. Someone staying in your apartment should NOT be something you should have to deal with. 

    Post # 32
    Member
    562 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Well, I had two friends stay at our house the night before our wedding (my husband and I were there, as well), so I don’t think it’s that big a deal. That said, if you have a problem with it, tell her.

    Post # 33
    Member
    712 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    No. Nope. Nope. Either she’s going to be awkwardly there while you’re getting ready. Are you going to have getting ready pictures? That would leave her floating in the background. I think you would also feel like you had to include her in any activities that you have planned for the morning or else make her feel left out. And heck no! I would not offer my apartment! Everyone else had to pay for their accommodations. Why shouldn’t she have to? 

    Post # 34
    Member
    9581 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

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    Jewelieee:  just say no. Put your foot down. She should have never asked.

    Post # 35
    Member
    587 posts
    Busy bee

    Far out! This girl obviously hasn’t ever planned a wedding and doesn’t know how busy and stressful it can get in the morning! Just say no. She agreed to go to your wedding, therefore it’s her problem to find a place to stay – not in your room!

    Post # 36
    Member
    196 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

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    Jewelieee:  how old is your friend because she is acting extremely immature.  Is she trying to insist on staying with you because she can’t afford a room of her own or just doesn’t want to be left out since she’s not in the bridal party.  I’d be mugh more sympathetic of the financial situation if she were one of my good friends but I still would absolutely not invite her to stay in the bridal suite or get involved with her finding accommodations.  Im assuming she is a capable enough adult to handle that on her own and if I were in your bridal party, I would be annoyed by that situation.  So think about how it will make your bridesmaids feel also.

    Post # 37
    Member
    1316 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I cannot believe she asked. WTF? Please tell her NO. No explanation needed. And definitely not your apartment either. She can rent a room on airbnb as someone suggested. 

    Post # 38
    Member
    9016 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    Maybe she is asking because she can’t afford a hotel room after the expense of traveling to the wedding and bachelorette. She may have an unexpected shortage of cash which is leading her to ask around for a place to stay. Definitely no to staying with you and the bridesmaids though.

    I really can’t believe that people are saying not to let her stay in your home (apartment) for one night. Surely she can collect and return the spare key to someone at the wedding. Be a good friend and offer her your apartment for the night. Surely having your friend, who you care about, at your wedding trumps being inconvenienced by having to change the sheets on your bed. Or better yet leave some clean sheets out and ask her to remake the bed before leaving. I am sure she would be happy to do it since you graciously gave her a place to stay.

    Post # 39
    Member
    6425 posts
    Bee Keeper

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    Jewelieee:  Please say no, this can end badly because of her asking.  I hate when people ask a question that’s really just not appropriate but if someone says no they look like the bad guy.  YOu’re not the bad guy OP.  Stand your grounds and ask her to just move to another room.

    Post # 40
    Member
    1808 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Nope. And I’m going to disagree with previous posts. The request is, in fact, rude. She’s inviting herself on your wedding weekend of all weekends, as if social etiquette doesn’t dictate that inviting one’s self anywhere isn’t rude enough! And don’t offer your apartment. It’s four days before your wedding for the love of God. This is poor planning on her part and you need not abide by it. I’d write her back and let her know that while you understand all she pointed out in the email, you have assessed the request and will not be able to accommodate it. You also hope she can still come. Do not feel guilty here. She shouldn’t have (as you so aptly put it) imposed.

    Post # 41
    Member
    201 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    This wouldn’t be a dilemma for me! It would just be a flat out hell to the no!

    Just explain that unfortunately you’ll have a lot going on the night before the wedding, and you and your bridesmaids and family will have a lot to do. It’s a special night for you to spend with your girls, no gatecrashing allowed!

    Post # 42
    Member
    1432 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

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    Jewelieee:  I would definitely let her stay in your apartment.  My Darling Husband and I had 4 people staying in our house in the lead up to the wedding.  I stayed at my parents’ house the night before our wedding, and then we stayed at a hotel the night of.  I think it’s a really nice thing for you to do for her since she has spent and will be spending a lot of money to attend your wedding.  It’s really not a big deal – maybe leave your apartment key at the front desk of your hotel, and that way she can just show up and get it at any time, rather than having to meet up with anyone specifically.

    Post # 43
    Member
    1272 posts
    Bumble bee

    Since she is a good friend and did come to your other events (and I am assuming she does not make a habit of imposing herself on others in this manner and this is an isolated incident) I would say go the route of lending her the use of your apartment. Do not give her any opening to push for staying in the bridal suite, though. Insist that your apartment is the only lodging you can offer, as you will be busy with wedding details and you will need the bridal suites for your bridesmaids and to prepare for the wedding, nor will you have the time/energy to play hostess. Furthermore, it may appear unfair to other female guests/friends/relatives if she got to stay with the bridal party and no one else did.

    Post # 44
    Member
    2098 posts
    Buzzing bee

    View original reply
    Jewelieee:  I think the easiest thing to do is say “Sorry there is no room!” and send a link to a hotel. That is crazy. The things I see on these boards…. I’ll never get used to this stuff! 

    Oh I didn’t see the apartment option part. Yes, I guess if that is not going to inconvenience you, why not? 

    Post # 45
    Member
    2393 posts
    Buzzing bee

    No, no, no, no, no.

    Practice saying it in front of the mirror.

    It’s great practice for the future.

    No: My favorite word.

    If anyone ever pushes you as to why you’re saying no, never make apologies. The correct response is: “Because I don’t want to.” Case closed. Done. Solved. Own it.

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