Post # 1
What would you do if you saw your BFFs e-ring, and KNOW she will hate it? For years now, my friend has stated she wants a classic, 6 prong solitaire with plain band. She has gone wedding shopping with her b/f and I personally heard her tell him her exact specifications. So of course this is what he bought her….
Pretty much the EXACT opposite of simple, solitare, plain band. Knowing my friend she will be quite upset by this, because not only is it not her style, but her boyfriend didn’t listen to a word she said.
Should I mind my beeswax or give him a helpful hint? Worst case scenario is he freaks out when I tell him she won’t like it, and will postpone the proposal, which would be horrible because he’s arranging a big surprise where her family will be involved, and they live very far away so if he doesn’t propose now there may not be that type of opportunity again! I’m leaning toward not saying anything, but she would kill me if she found out I SAW the ring and didn’t speak up.
What would you do?
Post # 3
Post # 4
@Crystalchild23: if he asked specifically for your opinion on if she would like it, then and only then should you state your opinion.
This is between him and her.
Post # 5
@Crystalchild23: Well, if you are saving him some head/heart ache, I say tell him. I mean if you are POSITIVE that she is going to hate it,then I think he should know.
Post # 6
I know your heart is in the right place, but I honestly don’t think it’s your business. I was the opposite of your friend – I always loved the look of elaborate, vintage-style rings and Fiance proposed with a classic Tiffany solitaire. Quite truthfully, it took a while but I’ve come to love it – and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Let your friend come to her own conclusions.
Post # 7
@Crystalchild23: ugh!!! This is so hard! Thank God my BFF’s husband texted me in a panic at the store. The clerk had just about convinced him a princess cut was a necessity even though her ONE criteria was that it be emerald cut! I seriously think she would have been so pissed he didn’t listen to her one request that she might have said no!
I don’t know what you should do. Is the right ring more important than the awesome proposal? So hard!!!
Post # 8
I would gently remind him of what she said. Something along the lines of, “I remember her mentioning that she really wanted a solitaire. What made you decide to go with this instead?”. Maybe they had another discussion after the fact (doubtful) or a sales person talked him into it. Or he just went off the rails.. At the very least it will prepare him if she really does hate it and wants to bring up an exchange after the proposal!
Post # 9
What kind of conversation lead him to show you the ring? He didn’t show it to you for no reason! That being said, I think that you should tell him… This kind of topic always draws a bunch of mixed answers. I might be a little biased because if you know me you know I have a “tell it like it is whether you like or not” personality LOL.
Post # 10
@MissTatas: +1 for this response!
Post # 11
@Crystalchild23: Why does this happen so often? I love my Fiance and I love my Engagement Ring but he kind of did the same thing. He got the setting perfect and it’s wonderful but instead of a moissanite he got me a colored gem….
But whatever – worse things have happened in the world,
It is odd that this happens so often. The guy asks the girl what she likes, she tells him and he does something else. Is it because they aren’t listening?
Post # 12
Thanks for your replies! I know its definitely not my business, I guess I know that their relationship has just patched up from a rocky period, and I’m worried this will tip them over the edge again. I mean, if I didn’t know that he was already TOLD what kind of ring she wanted I might have felt more inclined to speak up…but it seems he just went off the rails and did his own thing. I don’t even think my speaking up will make him change it, and maybe it’s even too late! I just have this feeling of dread imagining her expression when she looks down on that ring…oy vey!
Post # 13
Tell him!! Many girls don’t want to change after its their engagement ring, but equally hate having to learn to love a ring that they think looks atrocious. I would HATE the ring he picked out, and be so so sad if my best friend had a chance to change things, but didnt
Post # 14
@Clairetoris: he basically just sent me a text message with a picture of the ring, and told me he was definitely gonna propose soon and was asking for advice about the proposal (NOT the ring itself). I did ask him if she tried that ring on (*hint hint*) and he said not that one specifically, they shopped around and she told him what she likes blah blah. But up to a week ago she reiterated what she wants (round solitaire). Sigh
Post # 15
Can you text back something like, “I could’ve sworn she wanted a round six-prong solitaire”?
Post # 16
@Crystalchild23: is it possible that she tried on a similar ring and ended up loving it? I know when I was looking for erings I would change my mind almost every week!