Dilemma. Please help!

posted 2 months ago in Grooms/men
Post # 2
Member
2445 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

This guy sounds really rude.  Why is your FI ok with his friend treating you this way??

 

I would not want someone like this in our lives, let alone in the wedding….  Your FI needs to talk to this guy about the way he treats you and if he won’t change his behavior, he shouldn’t be friends with him anymore.

Post # 3
Member
8016 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

why did he agree to be a groomsman if he doesn’t support your marriage? why did you FI even ask him?

what does your FI have to say about the issue?  what is his response when your FI confronts him?

Post # 4
Member
5183 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

I’m all for the groom being allowed to pick his own groomsmen…but I’m baffled that your FI picked someone to stand by his side on your wedding day who so openly dislikes and disrespects you. Have you told your FI how you feel about this guy being in the wedding? He doesn’t even want to go to a picnic if you’ll be there but he’s going to be IN your frickin’ wedding?!?!

Post # 5
Member
363 posts
Helper bee

What is a couples picnic?

Post # 8
Member
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

futuremrspalmer :  what “differences” is he being asked to put aside? It sounds like he’s acting out because your FI isn’t single anymore. 

If your FI has asked him multiple times to,treat you better and there’s no actual issue between you two, but he continues being disrespectful, your FI simply tells him that he can’t stand up for him if he doesn’t respect and honor his marriage, vows, and partner. 

Everyone attending the wedding, let alone standing up, is supposed to support the couple. If he can’t or won’t do that, why would he be a groomsman.

Post # 10
Member
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

futuremrspalmer :  I think it’s TOTALLY okay in this situation to kick him out of the wedding, given his recent disrespectful behavior. If he can’t even attend your couples shower because – gasp – you’ll be there, I see no reason for him to be in your wedding!

People are often advised on this site (and I think it’s true) that kicking out a bridal party member from the wedding could be a friendship-ending move. However, in this case, I can not see why your fiance would want to continue to be friends with this guy, given his clear disrespect of you and your relationship. 

Post # 12
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

You and FI are on the same page you say, so boot him.

He has no place at your wedding.

Post # 15
Member
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

futuremrspalmer :  so he basically hates you because your FI is growing up. Well, you can’t change that. All you can do is have your FI tell him he either decides to support the marriage and stop acting like he hates you or it won’t work for him to stand up for your FI. 

This is a power game for him. Think carefully about the way you and your FI want to respond.

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