- 4 years ago
So here’s the deal:
My cousin is getting married. I’m thrilled for her but we really aren’t very close. She sent out e-vite save the dates in March, but at the time she said she wasn’t 100% sure about the date just yet. That was the last I heard from her until a few weeks ago. I’m not gonna lie, I totally forgot about the wedding. Over the summer I moved back to the US from the UK, and then got a job 3 hours south of my hometown. Meanwhile, my SO’s sister made it on the national team for her sport and will be coming to the US to compete in an international tournament in December. This is a very big deal for her and the family. Unfortunately, for a variety of reasons, we will be unable to go and watch her play during the tournament, so we (SO is visiting me through Christmas) invited her to come see us after the tournament and let us celebrate with her. She was really excited about this and booked her ticket to come see us, but since I’ll be working late planning/organizing a work event that week, she asked me if it would be alright if she could extended her trip to include a weekend so that she could see me a bit more. Obviously I wasn’t going to say no to that, especially since we get along so well and I’m really excited to show her my new city. Anyway, of course, as soon as she books the flights I get an invitation in the mail to my cousin’s wedding. And guess what? It’s that same weekend.
Now here’s the problem:
– I work at a college and graduation is that Friday. All employees are required to show up and I’m on the graduation committee, so I’ve got to work the event, which ends at 7:30pm. Couple that will clean up time and I’ll be lucky if I leave before 9.
– The wedding is Saturday at 5pm. If I go I can:
1. Go by myself (though my SO was invited, but I feel horrible about leaving his sister on her own), drive the 3 hours north early on saturday, go to the wedding, return early on Sunday – but then turn around and do 300 mile round trip drive again on Monday after work, since SO’s sister leaves from that airport on Monday. But if I do this they won’t have access to a car while I’m away unless they rent one themselves (which of course they are totally capable of doing, but I just want to be a good host)
2. Pile everyone into the car and drive them all up – once again go to the wedding on my own, but at least this way we get 6 hours extra time together, leave SO and his sis to do something fun in town when I’m gone, and then turn around and drive back that same night because there isn’t enough room in my parent’s house for all of the family flying into town as well as us.
3. Don’t go to the wedding – by far the easiest option – but my parents are taking serious offense to it. In the whole “we’ll never forgive you – why do you always isolate yourself from the family? You’re the worst daughter ever” kind of way. I honestly don’t think my cousin and aunts and uncles will care that much, but then again, maybe they will? I have a lot of cousins on that side but this is the only one that has done a big fancy wedding.
My parents are really a fan of option #2, but they think I should leave SO’s sister alone in the house while SO and I go to the wedding. I thought that was a bit ridiculous and incredibly rude.
So Bees – what would you do? Should I be a good host to my future SIL? Or should I ditch her and SO and go to the wedding on my own?
I’m really leaning towards not going and writing her a heartfelt congratulations card and sending it with a nice gift, but I think I’m biased so I wanted to get other peoples opinions.