Dilemma: Shut It Up Pact for SO

posted 3 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
Member
5576 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

greybee :  

I would say… You seem pretty interested in proposals and what not, do you want to talk about our future?

I feel like when bees do the shut it up pact, it’s because their so’s are not receptive to talks about the future so they shut it up to stop the tension (yes I know this is a generalization, it’s just what I’ve gathered from the siup threads)

He’s the one bringing it up. It’s like he wants to talk about it but you are shutting it up to let it happen organically… whatever that means.

When he brings it up, talk about it.

Post # 3
Member
1727 posts
Bumble bee

I agree with PP. It almost sounds like he wants to talk with you about it and find out what you’d want for a proposal and whatnot, but you keep shutting down the conversation. Definitely talk to him about it the next time he brings it up. At least mention things like “i like that proposal, I didn’t like that. I would’ve done it this way…” so he can get an idea of what you want.

Post # 4
Member
2291 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise

greybee :  I agree; this seems like a fishing expedition to try and determine what kind of proposal you might want. 

That being said, if you want him to stop, I’d just say “I’m sure I’ll love whatever you come up with when our time comes” whenever he does it. Eventually, he’ll get the hint. 

Post # 6
Member
10068 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

So, why don’t you ask him if he’s planning on proposing any time soon?

Post # 7
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I literally asked my husband if he was ever planning on proposing to me super boldly.. he did it 3 weeks later.. maybe he wants to be sure you will say yes, so he is dropping hints himself but you are acting distant cuz you dont want to make him think it’s something you are eagerly waiting on?

Post # 8
Member
82 posts
Worker bee

If your SO knew you were hoping for a proposal and had removed yourself from Facebook to focus on other things…then proceeded to bug you with proposal posts on FB etc. then I would say he is pulling a jerk move.

Not saying he is a jerk, but it is jerkish what he is doing…if my SO did that to me I would get irritated real quick and tell him to stop showing me and taunting me unless he had plans of his own. 

It could be that he is planning to propose and as others have said is trying to get your reaction, but if he isn’t then I really don’t understand what he would get from it.

Post # 9
Member
215 posts
Helper bee

If he brings it up its fair game. 

I agree with PP he is probably trying to get an idea of what you like. Only one way to find out. I think I like the first persons idea best. 

Post # 11
Member
215 posts
Helper bee

Well then you should tell him! Have a discussion about how everytime he brings it up that you expect it and that you would prefer to not be reminded of it until it is actually happening 😛 

 

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