- 4 years ago
First time here but need some advice. My partner and I are not inviting one of my brothers to the wedding, very long story but mainly he doesn’t support the union, he dislikes my partner with a passion blantantly told me he doesn’t like him and has caused a major up roar in the family -nearly lost my Aunts and Uncles relationships due to his opinion initially being taken as gospel of my partner and because of his actions my relationship will never be seen as a happy union by many family members regardless of what we do and on top of this he is a chronic alcoholic. My mother is convinced that he alone contributed to my Nana passing away suddenly last year with all the family stress he caused with his negative actions.
I’ve made up my mind that he’s not invitied (could not handle the fake congratulating handshake and empty well wishes) and if he was there I would be wishing the day go as quickly as possible before he and his wife start their usual family tiffs because the focus would not be on them and forever would be commenting how their wedding was so much better then ours. They are such drama queens. The main issue I have is that he takes no responsibilty for his actions and for what he has done to us and believes his opinion is just that and he’s not in his wildest dreams every going to apologise or try and see things from our point of view. I have tried a couple of times to express my hurt but am lucky to get 3 words in before he becomes vocally abusive and agro and defends his actions over and over again.
I don’t speak with him much these days and he’s pretty much non existent in my life with what’s going on with me that do I even need to alert him to the fact he’s not invited!.. He and his wife are so self absorbed in their life that they probably wouldn’t even know we were getting married later in the year and I can’t remember the last time I spoke to him sober. I just feel if he found out he’s not invited that he would do something to ‘spoil’ our day – like just turn up or create a scene at some point during the ceremony/reception. What should I do? Tell him before hand and cop another mouthful where he’ll probably just turn up anyway or just not let him know? Help much appreciated.