(Closed) Dilemna – Officiant vs Minister

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
3697 posts
Sugar bee

You might be able to find a Unitarian Universalist minister who would leave God out of a wedding service … but, really, it’s a little bit outrageous to seek out someone who has made it their life’s work to serve God, and then ask them to perform your wedding ceremony, but in a way that goes against their deeply-held beliefs.

Your parents seem stuck on the idea of a church as “wedding scenery” and a minister as a character (or even a prop) to act out their idea of what they think a wedding is supposed to look like. But churches aren’t “made for weddings” so much as they are made for being the home of a worshipping community. If someone is a member of that community, then the church is the perfect place for their wedding, and they already have a minister, no need to seek one out. If church isn’t a part of your life at all, though, it’s kind of inauthentic to have the wedding there, right?

Post # 4
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@KCKnd2:  This.

Here’s the thing: it’s your wedding. Choose your own officiant without being pressured by anyone else. We’re getting married outdoors in a local park, and using a local husband-wife team as our officiants. They are Reverends, but they do all kinds of ceremonies. In fact, they specialize in non-traditional ceremonies, which is exactly what we wanted. No religious anything, no mention of God/god/gods. And hey, we just aren’t telling anyone. No one needs to know until the day of, and they can keep their mouths shut if they don’t like it, because I do not want to hear it. We’ve had people try to talk us into a church wedding, a religious wedding, etc., and we thanked them for their opinions, said that we would make that decision when we got there, and dropped it. 

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