Dinner dilemma for my grandmother's 89th birthday!

posted 9 months ago in Beehive
Post # 46
859 posts
Busy bee

Apologize to your grandmother and show her some respect. Realize she is towards the end of her life and is probably so bored. Your grandmother is looking forward to an outing where she can celebrate. Give her her moment.

I told my SO’s grandma on thanksgiving that we should go shopping and get her a nice dress because we have having a big party when she turns 90 in the spring.

Post # 47
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

overmylimit88 :  far out … Your granny is turning 89 which is awesome and all you can think about is how her party affects you. For goodness sake she’s 89 let her f*cking have her damn party at her fave bbq restaurant. You wont starve if you eat a salad or some sides for one night!

Also just stay at home because you are a big party pooper from the sounds of your 2 posts on here. Your family will have a lot more fun celebrating your grandmother without having to see or hear your sourpuss mug at the table. 😒

Post # 48
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Allergies are one thing – especially peanuts / nuts. I don’t think anyone would think an allergy sufferer was being difficult about a restaurant choice, but vegan is a CHOICE not a requirement.

Your ganny is nearly 90 suck it up for one meal and eat the sides. How do you know they won’t do you a BBQ mushroom or tofu or veggie burger?

Pull your neck in and just enjoy spending time with your grandmother. I have no grandparents still alive and I would love to get to spend one more meal with them.

Post # 49
6347 posts
Bee Keeper

I had to check this thread out after all the references in your most recent thread and damn, Bee. Did you really force your 89 year-old grandmother to give up her preferred birthday party venue because you refused to pack a sandwich or eat some salad and mac & cheese for dinner? Damn. No wonder your family suggested you just not attend. 

ETA: You can be a strict vegan and you can have a strict sleep schedule. What you can’t reasonably do is expect everyone else to adjust their lives and preferences to accommodate these things. Your choices do not dictate others’ choices. 

Post # 50
936 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

Wow!! I have been reading the other thread and just stumbled across this one. I cannot believe how selfish you are in forcing your 89 year old grandmother to not have the meal of her choice on HER birthday. The day isn’t about you!

Post # 51
2483 posts
Buzzing bee

beethree :  You can be a strict vegan and you can have a strict sleep schedule. What you can’t reasonably do is expect everyone else to adjust their lives and preferences to accommodate these things. Your choices do not dictate others’ choices. 


All of my vegan/vegetarian friends understand this concept and eat before they go out and then graze on what they can at the party.  Learn to live accordingly with the choices you have made in your life.

Post # 52
68 posts
Worker bee

overmylimit88 :  My God, you sound exhausting. Why are you like this? Your life choices are no one elses responsibility, and your grandmother deserves to have whatever she wants on her birthday. Honestly, I say this in the most loving way possible, but get over yourself. You are going to push people in your life away (sounds like you already are) if you keep insisting they cater to you and your preferences. That is not how healthy relationships work.

Post # 53
1487 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Where’s the dilemma? You don’t want to go to the dinner. Your family doesn’t want you to go. So don’t go, and everyone’s happy. Don’t see the dilemma here. 

Post # 54
1005 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

overmylimit88 :  It doesn’t sound like your grandma does not have a lot of birthdays left, so how about you focus on making memories that the both of you will cherish during these last years? I feel like that is a much better use of your time (and what little time she has) than creating useless drama over ONE MEAL.

Seriously, get over yourself.

Post # 55
3407 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

overmylimit88 :  My mother in law held my husband’s college graduation party at a BBQ place. We are both vegan. We took some sandwiches in my purse and ate fries.

You are being selfish and the worst stereotype of a vegan. This is appalling to me. I’ve never met a veg who doesn’t understand eating before they go. Keep a banana in your purse like the rest of us. The point is to spend time with your grandma.

Post # 56
65 posts
Worker bee

Vegan here.  Eat some sides and stfu.  What the hell is wrong with you?

Post # 57
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Man did this thread live up to my expectations 10/10 would read again 

Post # 58
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

[This comment has been moderated for TOS violation – name calling]

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