Dinner Party prep tips?

posted 3 months ago in Beehive
Post # 16
2374 posts
Buzzing bee

What happens if a friend RSVPs yes and then has to back out last minute?  Will your fiancé send them an invoice?

Post # 17
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I don’t think your dinner party sounds very fun.

Post # 18
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

futuremrs2020 :  I was thinking of that exact thread too!


OP, there is no polite way to tell guests to leave by 10pm. I would do a brunch instead! Those also tend to be less boozy than a Friday night dinner party.

Post # 19
1313 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

mathlove10 :  Is this post for real? Do you seriously think it’s a good idea to sit down your friends before the party and explain they can’t use “foul language” in your home? Do you have a swear jar you’ll make them use?!

Honestly your expectations are downright crazy. Like, batshit crazy. If you expect to do things this way, here is my top tip: how about not? Seriously girl, just don’t. Invite everyone out for a group meal at a restaurant.

What you are proposing is so far beyond the realm of socially acceptable behaviour, it makes me think you have social problems. Do you suffer from a disorder? You seem to think hosting an event makes you the Supreme Ruler. It doesn’t.

You cannot invite guests to your home an then dictate how much they drink and what conversations they are allowed to have. You can ask them to remove shoes at the entrance (that’s a normal request… unlike the rest) and you can keep food in one room by serving it there. You can put a general start and end time on the invite but know that it will run over… unless your guests are scurrying away with urgency to escape the iron rule of the Dinner Party Despots that are you and your fiancé.

Post # 20
7297 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Honestly if I walked into this dinner party I’d feign illness or sneak out the bathroom window. 

Post # 21
1021 posts
Bumble bee

Good grief. Do you hear yourself?

I have never attended an adult dinner party where I was instructed to sit down at the beginning and listen to a list of rules for the evening including what I could and could not talk about, what amount of wine I could drink or what language I could use. Never. My husband and I have hosted dozens over the years and attended even more.

What you are planning is the height of ill manners and is downright patronizing. If your lifestyle is this rigid I would suggest you invite people to a restaurant and then you and your partner sit at a different table from your guests just in case you hear a topic that you don’t like being discussed or language that you don’t approve of.

By The Way if your classmates are the type of people who like to swear, get drunk, traipse food all over the place and generally offend your sensibilites then why are you asking them over?

Post # 22
1017 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1995

Tips for hosting?  Yes – don’t, don’t do it.  

Post # 23
6166 posts
Bee Keeper

You host a party when you can be a generous and gracious host and not be kicking people out the door because you have to be up early the next morning. Dinner parties shouldn’t have a list of rules–there is nothing relaxing, entertaining or fun about that. If I arrived at your home only to be told what I could drink and what I could and could not say I’d be planning my exit strategy pretty quickly. That’s just not how adults spend time together. 

I also think you should hold off trying to host anything with your Fiance right now. Do you really want to risk him going off the rails and treating your friends the way he treated your sister and neice?

Last, this post really is incredibly similar to a post last year. It’s hard to imagine more than one person could approach hosting in this odd manner. 

Post # 24
782 posts
Busy bee

Eerily similar to the past thread! I also thought the same as I was reading this.

I’ll humour you though – you need to lighten up a little! A dinner party should be fun. If I arrived at a dinner party and was given a set of rules, I’d probably walk out. I’m an adult, I know how to conduct myself in public, I don’t need a list of rules thank-you very much.

Also, do you absolutely HAVE to run at 6am? Or at all? You could postpone until later in the morning, allowing your guests to leave at a normal ‘leaving’ hour for adult parties. 

Post # 25
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

Hosting means you are opening up your home to your guests. Your job is to ensure they feel welcome and comfortable.

Honestly this dinner party doesn’t sound pleasant. I’d feel super offended going to someone’s house and being given a list of rules at the start. It’s like you think I’m a child who doesn’t how to behave, and….WHAT HAPPENS IF SOMEONE BREAKS A RULE? You kick them out? 

Honestly I think you are better off not hosting, it sounds like no matter what you’re going to find something that’ll make you unhappy / regret it so don’t bother. 

Post # 26
782 posts
Busy bee

HEY WAIT! You’re the same poster as the fiancé who demanded his $20 cookie money back from a 9 year old! With all the schedule planning and the spreadsheets.

This makes a lot of sense now…..is your fiancé going to invoice anyone who drinks more than their allotted wine allowance? Is there a fine for rule breaking?

Post # 27
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

What a fun party undecided

Post # 28
5922 posts
Bee Keeper

Hosts should be gracious and kind. You should not be hosting anyone with these ‘rules’.

between this thread, your last one and how exacting it matches up to the past thread, I’m not buying op isn’t a t-word.

eta- https://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/dinner-party-schedule/

Also a 2 drink max, kicked out at 10, super strict sleep schedule. 

Post # 29
11647 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

In the other thread I thought the over the top rigid rules and routines were likely all coming from your fiance, but I see now that that is not the case. 

Post # 30
155 posts
Blushing bee

Are all your friends like this too?  Taking your shoes off is one thing but a list of rules for adults is absurd.  Why don’t you just suggest going out to eat as a group instead?

Leave a comment

Find Amazing Vendors