(Closed) Dinnerware arguments: ie How do you and your FI make decisions?

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee

Darling Husband and I have really only had 2 major arguments in the past year. He doesn’t usually care about household related things, so I do have that as an advantage. normally when a major decision needs to be made we present our case in clean organized bullet format. “We need to move to the appartment instead of renting it out becuase………” (this was our most recent argument) We made a list of pros and cons and researched it together, we realized that 1. the appartment didn’t have nearly as much space as we thought it did and needs some repairs and 2. we can swing it for much less money than I origionally thought.

We learned about both point of views and ultimately in this one I folded. Becuase it means I get to pick out new flooring. so, eh.

 

Post # 4
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think that when you both feel strongly about a certain thing and can’t come together, you need to scrap those two things and go for something different. 

The dinnerware example would be to abandon the “girly” things and the dark pottery, and go for something different altogether, like plain white dinnerware 🙂

What we did is that I liked the kind of plainer, simpler ones and Fiance liked the glazed pottery kind of look.  We ended up choosing a set that is white on the outside, but the surfaces that touch the food is a glazed green colour.  A compromise!

Post # 5
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

This made me laugh…I am of no help as this is exactly the way we have been “planning”.  I spend hours researching every little detail, then offer him a neat little selection to choose from.  He is pretty laid back, so we don’t usually have a disagreement.  Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
4606 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

My FH would love everything to involve camo and Chevy trucks, which is why he’s not picking much of anything when it comes to wedding things. Haha.

Post # 8
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee

@lanipapillon:  really.. its dinnerware. Choose your battles on this one and just let him pick. Maybe you will grow to like it

Post # 9
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Compromise!  It generally means removing both of your preferences, and finding something in the middle (like a PP said!).  

The best way to figure out if something is worth fighting for/over is to ask yourself “Will this be important in 5 years?”  If the answer to that question is no, then you have your answer!

Honestly, the plates you eat your dinner on are not nearly as important as the food you will eat off of them!  I love food!

Post # 10
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Yeah, my hubby has some storng opinions too, I didn’t really expect it! To the point that we just didn’t register for dinnerware or cutlery. There just wasn’t any we agreed on. In a way, this works for us. By the time we find something which we both like (ie. most recently a sofa) we just buy it.

Although I did the first round of registering with hubby, I went back alone afterwards, much easier. Wink 

Post # 11
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@lanipapillon:  Maybe you can go more with what he wants then, like a pottery kind of style, but in a lighter colour that is more your style.

Post # 12
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee

Mix and match fiestaware? He can have dark you can have light?

Post # 13
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

What about having a casual set that one of you likes, and a fancy set that the other likes?

 

Mine insisted on plain black square plates from Target… I was like…mehhhh you can register for anything in the universe and thats really what you want??  So he gets those, and then I picked out our set for when we have company.  Done and done.  😉

Post # 16
Member
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

@lanipapillon:  That sounds like my Dad.  He surprised us all when my Mom went to get a new dinnerware set and all of a sudden he had all these requirements and specifications about how big the plates should be, how much of an edge, color, design, etc.  She was like “Why don’t you come with me and pick out something you like?”  He refused so she had to try to find what he wanted without him being there.  This was before you could send a cellphone picture.  LOL

When FH and I butt heads on something, we usually let it rest for a day or two, then approach the topic when we are both calm.  Not after a stressful day of work, or if we’ve had a few drinks.  We have to both be in a good mood and then we are able to express our feelings but also listen to the other person and try to get in their shoes. 

Good luck!

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