Post # 1
Is anyone else out there? Is your Fiance or someone in your bridal party or family disabled?
I am 29 years old and legally blind…as I begin to plan my wedding I’ve had to make extra considerations (i.e. lighting, program font sizes, etc…) I have accommodations on the job (I’m an attorney)…but, I NEVER thought about it until recently…
I want to see my FI’s face as I walk down the aisle, so I’m thinking about setting up A/V at the church so that I can see him on the screen. Even as I type, I’m getting emotional…I don’t want to miss a thing!! So, we’re definitely going to make the day as accommodating as possible, so that I can see and enjoy my day and guests…
Has anyone thought about this…is your reception site, venue, etc accessible?
~*smooches and blessings*~
Post # 3
I’m not disabled, but I am attending a wedding in October for two people that have Cerebral Palsy. They have chosen to have the reception at the FOG’s house because they know it will be accessible for them. They each have unique physical stuggles associated with their condition, so it was easier to use a place they were familiar with. Setting up something to make your day more special is certainly a good idea, I’d say you should see if you can make it work.
Post # 4
Aww I don’t have any suggestions, but I wanted to say your concern is beautiful. I pray that you have the wedding of your dreams!
Post # 5
I started tearing up when you said you don’t want to miss a thing! This has put everything into perspective for me, and not take for granted that I will be able to enjoy my day without having to worry about this.
Post # 6
I am not disabled but we are having our reception at a brand new center in our town geared towards the elderly and they have covered many aspects for varying types of disabilities.
Post # 7
Niether I nor my fiance are disabled, but my mother is (she has pretty severe arthritis and neuropathy) and one of the groomsmen is right now. A truck he was riding in hit an IED in Afghanistan and he broke his legs. He is currently in a wheelchair and we don’t know if he’ll be walking by the wedding. TThe only real accomodations we’re making is staying away from stairs.
Post # 8
We have a lot of elderly guests at our wedding (quite a few are wheelchair bound), so making sure our venue was accessible was key. We will also be reserving cocktail tables throughout the duration of the event for specific people who we know can’t walk and/or stand for long periods of time. Rather than make it a big deal, we are mearly placing “reserved” signs on the tables and have informed these individuals that the tables are meant for them. In addition, my wedding planner will be watching out to ensure they are taken care of.
I think everything you are doing sounds wonderful. And I’m sure your guests will love it as well. This is such a special day, do everything you can and need to do to ensure that you don’t miss a minute!
Post # 9
Yep, we thought about accessibility issues, too. FH’s aunt has MS, and it’s progressed to the point where she’s in a wheel chair full time. My Grandma and FH’s Grandma both have mobility issues to varying degrees. So, we found a park in a nearby town for our ceremony, and our reception venue is right across the street from the park. Also, the parking lot is really close to the ceremony site – you pretty much couldn’t get closer unless it was a drive in. The ceremony site has stairs, but it also has a wheelchair ramp. So, we’re hoping that getting to the ceremony site won’t be a problem, and then those that need to can be driven to the reception site. Also, since both Grandmas have the mobility issues, we’re skipping the “grandparent” part of the processional. They’ll still have corsages, though.
It was hard to find venues that would work for our family – I was unpleasantly surprised by that. We found some lovely places, but the walk from the parking lot to the venue was just more than we thought our families could handle. The park we picked seemed perfect – although, since it’s about 40 minutes away from our hometown, I’ve heard some complaints that it’s “too far of a drive” which is upsetting. I keep reminding myself that the people complaining have never planned a wedding, and probably don’t know the thought that we put into it.
I love the A/V idea!
Post # 10
My FI’s maternal grandmother will be in a wheelchair, as well as a few other, mostly elderly, guests. We made sure that both the church and reception hall were wheelchair accessible. Both buildings have wheelchair lifts near the stairwells to accomodate guests in wheelchairs. I don’t consider myself disabled, but I have Autism and I’ve been contemplating how to deal with problems associated with that on my wedding day. Sometimes I have serious problems wearing or touching cloth/clothing or people, problems with crowds, strangers, etc. I am planning into my day time away from everyone where I can twitch-out and release some of my anxiety because otherwise I suspect I’d end up throwing what would look a whole lot like a tantrum to outsiders, but which is something, if pushed beyond my limits, I cannot control.
I love the idea of you not wanting to miss a moment of your day! I don’t want to either! 🙂 The AV equipment sounds like a great idea. Also, if you’re inviting any blind friends, could you have a few invitations and other paper goods done up in Braile? I have a blind friend who has a printer(?) type thing which prints stuff in braile. Also, maybe find a dog friendly hotel, church, reception hall, etc. for you, and others, who might have seeing eye dogs. Avoiding food options which require people to wander around a whole ton might be a good idea too. (carving stations, buffets, etc.) I was in a wheelchair for over a month once (due to ripping the muscles along my spine!) and I found it very difficult to have to be constantly moving the chair/me from place to place.
Post # 11
WB is giving me problems posting today! Arg! Please ignore this [it was a repost].
Post # 12
I don’t know if this counts as disabled, but I am a high functioning autistic with severe sensory processing disorder.
Certain sounds are a lot louder to me than they are to normal people and they bother me. A lot. To the point that I can not function if I hear them. Most of the sounds that generally bother me should not be an issue at my wedding though.
I also have a very difficult time with empathy and with social norms, such as small talk. I am a bit worried about how I will handle all of the sensory overload, but I am more worried about having to talk to so many people in such a short span of time.
Post # 13
First, let me thank you ALL for your responses. I wasn’t sure how this would be received, or if I’d get any replies, but I was and am overwhelmed!! Your personal stories and willingness to share is very encouraging….thanks for your support!!
It’s good to have this type of discussion, even outside the realm of weddings, because there are so many people living ordinary lives under extraordinary circumstances (outside of disabilities) and it’s encouraging to not only have these discussions, but to encourage inclusivity on all levels!!
You’re pretty awesome, smooches and blessing!!
Post # 14
I’ve been disabled for 8years now – mobility issues causing me to need a crutch most of the time, and a wheelchair sometimes.
As a bridesmaid several times over, I just have to be careful. I let my brides know up front that I’ll have to wear flat shoes – David’s Bridal dye-able ballet flats generally work well, as long as I don’t encounter a slippery floor. When I was in a Catholic ceremony, I had to let them know I can’t kneel.
I always get new crutch pads so that they’re nicer looking, and use goo-gone to get rid of any stickers. My problem now is that Walgreens no longer carries crutches. And now the only ones I can find in a store have bright red plastic parts used for adjusting height – and are not removable, nor are they easily covered. So they look really bad against the 2 bridesmaid dresses I have to wear over the next 2 months (sky blue and victorian lilac dresses, respectively). *sigh* It’s gonna be really tacky in the pictures.
Most receptions have the bridal party seated on a platform – that’s always a problem for me. My knees aren’t strong enough for a steep step, especially without a railing! And if I go near the dance floor – I HAVE to use my wheelchair. Otherwise, I risk drunk guests – who don’t know me and think I’m just not dancing – try to pull me up to my feet to make me dance with them. That’s always terrifying, because dancefloors guarantee a trip to the ER for me.
Now it’s almost my turn. My bf wants to propose next spring, and we’ve already decided on spring of 2012 for our wedding. We have big families and a LOT of friends, but not much money.
So finding something big, and accessible, and inexpensive… I wanna cry just thinking about it. We’re doing just family for the ceremony, but we’ll have approx. 300 guests for the reception. And no, we don’t know anyone with a big enough backyard.
Now I’m here on this site, hoping to find some other disabled brides that I can get to know so we can help each other out with suggestions!
Post # 15
@RaineyWednesday: Could you buy a small bottle of paint from Michaels and paint over the red plastic parts so they blend into the crutch a little better?
Post # 16
@babyboo, if i had the time and craftiness, i would love the idea! unfortunately, i have neither. wedding #1 is in 6 days, and i work ft, plus other commitments (helping with bm duties for wedding #2 after work, trying to find time for a pedicure, church commitments, etc. do i sound overwhelmed. yeah. i am.) but thank you for the suggestion! i’ll try it for wedding #2 next month. of course, i’ll try it a few weeks before in case it chips off on my clothes – better to get it on work clothes than bm dress! haha