(Closed) Disagreement on paying for alcohol at rehearsal dinner. What to do??

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
7440 posts
Busy Beekeeper

It’s her money, she can spend it how she wants. You can pay for the first round or drink tickets if you want. Otherwise, cash bar it is. 

Post # 3
Member
8489 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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eroxibride1024:  Why don’t you pay for the alcohol?

Post # 4
Member
58 posts
Worker bee

i think its nice of his family to pay for the dinner (my FL parents arent as generous ), and if they dont want to pay for the drinks you shouldnt make them, You and your groom could pick up the 1st round of the drinks like that you could make it personal and say the 1st round is on us to thank you guys for supporting us in this journey, after that have a cash bar, drinks our expensive  and when guest know its free they will go all out, and do you really want your wedding party all hung over (i would die) and no one wants to pay a crazy bill for drinks.

Post # 5
Member
1552 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

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eroxibride1024:  Sorry Bee, they have offered to host. Their money, their way. They are not required to pay for alcohol.

If you want the bar option, you will need to foot the bill or as stated above have a cash bar.

Post # 7
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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eroxibride1024:  We aren’t paying for alcohol (at least at this point) for our rehearsal dinner though our restaurant gave us excellent bar prices for our guests to get drinks for fairly inexpensive prices. It’s a latin fusion restaurant and Future Mother-In-Law will cover a nice fun dinner/dessert and non-alcoholic bevs (passion fruit agua fresca! yum!) and guests can purchase alcohol if they want!

We’re having an open bar at the wedding, I’m fine with this set up.

Post # 8
Member
8503 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

They are under no obligation to pay for the alcohol. If it’s important to you I would just pay for it yourself.

Post # 9
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

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eroxibride1024:  They are generous enough to offer to pay for the dinner… I can’t believe you even suggested they buy everyones first round of drinks! Either pay for it yourself or let it be cash bar…

Post # 10
Member
82 posts
Worker bee

I don’t think its appropriate for your guests to pay for their own drinks.

 

If your ILs don’t want to pay for alcohol I would pay for it myself – I would see about setting up a consumptin tab – since its the night before the wedding people won’t be going nuts.

Post # 13
Member
763 posts
Busy bee

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eroxibride1024:  my opinion on etiquette? I think some drinks should be covered so guests don’t have to pay, but it could be predetermined so it doesn’t get out of hand (like pitchers of beer for the table). if guests really want to party, they can go on and do that after dinner on their own dime. 

sounds like you’re totally ok with the inlaws not paying, so would you and your Fiance be willing to chip in? 

Post # 14
Member
810 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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eroxibride1024:  just a thought but is an open bar the best idea for the night before the wedding? We are specifically doing a linited bar at our rehearsal dinner to deter people from getting wasted since we have to all be up so early the next morning.

Post # 15
Member
6311 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

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eroxibride1024:  I agree with the PP that personally I don’t think it’s appropriate for your guests to pay for their own drinks. I feel like anyone who is attending an event such as a rehearsal dinner is doing so out of requirement, and therefor, should be hosted. That being said, you can’t force your ILs to pay for alcohol if they don’t want to. If you want alcohol to be available, you guys should pay for it yourself.

I have a couple of friends whose parents wouldn’t pay for alcohol at their rehearsal/reception due to religous reasons. Offering guests alcohol was important to my friends, and they paid for it themselves.

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