(Closed) Disagreement on paying for alcohol at rehearsal dinner. What to do??

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
6309 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I just wanted to add….at a rehearsal dinner, the amount of drinks is WELL under what you have at the reception. We hosted our rehearsal dinner at a resturant and our guests were able to order (on our tab) whatever they wanted from the bar. We had 50 people in attendance and those who were drinking had roughly 2 drinks each. Some had only 1, and some had none. My Mother-In-Law commented after they paid the bill that it was much lower than she had anticiapted it being.


Post # 17
4517 posts
Honey bee

I personally would cover all the drinks. Then again my crowd didn’t drink much so it wasn’t going to add up, but if these are your closest friends and family and they’ve helped you in your wedding, they shouldn’t have to pay.

Post # 18
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Idk…. I am against cash bars at weddings/rehearsal dinners period.  I agree that it is your in-laws’ decision on what to pay for since they are hosting and you can’t ask them to pick up the alcohol.  But I do think you as the bride (and groom) should AT LEAST pick up the first round of drinks.  The rehearsal dinner is where you thank your nearest and dearest and it has been my experience that people will want to drink a little.

My H and I had our rehearsal dinner at his aunt’s house and there were about 40 people there since we invited the out of towners too.  We were able to buy all the alcohol at the beer distributor/liquor store so it was less expensive than paying per drink at a restaurant/bar. Maybe you could consider doing something like that?

Post # 19
6331 posts
Bee Keeper

She doesn’t have to pay for alcohol if she doesn’t want to. Do you anticipate a lot of alcohol consumed? At our rehearsal dinner, there weren’t that many alcoholic beverages purchased, so it wasn’t that costly. Another option could be having a pre-selected drink menu so that no one goes crazy with expensive mixed drinks or anything. 

Post # 20
8600 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

They are not required to at all, but you should if they won’t. To me the highest standard of hosting is giving your guests drinks unless its for religious reasons and is a dry event. At least beer and wine would be nice.

Post # 21
1298 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would either off to pay for the first round ourselves, or just not have alcohol at all unless its BYOB.

Post # 22
1616 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

If you want alcohol how about pay for it yourself? You cant tell people how to spend their money.  That is incredibly selfish.

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