disagreement over appropriate e-ring size/cost?

posted 12 months ago in Rings
Post # 15
Member
2463 posts
Buzzing bee

jellybellynelly :  that is true.  I figured that she has tried at least looked at cushions in person to know that….my 2.2 ct is similar in mm to a 1.8-1.85 round (obviously depending on the stone).

mrscb2bee :  I had a round for my first marriage and I loved it.  I just wanted something different this time around.  🙂

Post # 16
Member
6311 posts
Bee Keeper

Take him shopping so that he can see what a 1.7 cushion looks like on your finger. Perhaps compromise on the pave band and go with a plain band, you can always add an eternity ring later. This is a purchase you both need to be happy with. 

ETA: It shouldn’t matter what your friends paid for rings, houses, cars, vacations, etc. The two of you have to decide together what the right choices are for you. 

Post # 18
Member
6311 posts
Bee Keeper

daisybee91 :  Ask him if you’d like to surprise him with a car or if he’d want to pick it out himself and remind him that you’ll have this ring a lot longer than he’d have a car. 

Post # 19
Member
6060 posts
Bee Keeper

sharpshooter :  I just re-read her original post. A 1.7-1.8 ct cushion is what she was asking for. I totally skipped over that in the first post! So your original post was very spot on lol. 

Post # 21
Member
2463 posts
Buzzing bee

daisybee91 :  I love my cushion cut and my SO and I had talked about a budget and I was able to find the perfect stone within the budget (ok, just a smidge over, but he was ok with it).  I think if you start looking and keep an eye on bluenile.com, you could find the perfect stone for close to what your fiance wants to spend….

But i guess he’d have to be on board with that….

Post # 22
Member
1984 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

20sparklingyears :  you moved the decimal the wrong way… it’s actually 4.6% of their annual income, not 0.0046%.  Still, that’s not exactly going to break the bank.

OP I agree with the others that it’s annoying that he is so dismissive about what you want and you being willing to help pay for it.  That wouldn’t fly with me either.  It does seem like you have a “keeping up with the Joneses” perspective about your ring size to some degree, but hey, you can afford it, so who cares exactly why you want such a large ring.  I would keep offering your compromise and make it clear your preferences…. wear him down! 😉

Post # 23
Member
58 posts
Worker bee

I can’t help but throwing in a little ring spam.  I have a 1.9, H, SI1 cushion cut diamond with a solitaire style pave setting.  My diamond plus setting ended up being $11,000ish.  We bought the diamond from James Allen and had it set into a setting by a local jeweler.  We have a nice income, but not as high as yours.  My ring is much nicer than many I know, and there have been a few snarky comments, but mostly minimal drama.

Here’s a pic for reference (size 7.5 to 8 depending on swelling):

39179834_10156607077538774_456861559675682816_nRing Stack

Post # 24
Member
2411 posts
Buzzing bee

Given that cost doesn’t seem to be an issue (ie, you won’t be starving to death or unablke to pay your mortgage to buy your dream ring) and that you are willing to pay your fair share to get your dream ring…  He’s being unreasonable IMO.

Does he actually know how big a 1 or 2 carat diamond typically is? I’m wondering if he has this vision of a 2 ct diamond being the size of an ice cube or something.  Think there’s any chance that if you showed him actual diamonds on your finger he mighr realize you’re not planning to walk around looking like Elizabeth Taylor.  

Post # 26
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee

daisybee91 :  his stance on basically all of this seems unfair.  If you’re discussing what you like, that element of the surprise is already gone.  He doesn’t need to buy the ring in front of you, and you could try on a range of rings and sizes so that he can still surprise you, but you deserve to get what you like, especially if you’re willing to chip in.  Failing that, go to a jeweler and take a pic of the size you want on your hand so he can see it. 

Post # 28
Member
1636 posts
Bumble bee

KittyYogi :  Thank you, not sure how my calculator came up with that.  I hit the keys of the calculator like this: 15,000, then the division sign then, 325,000 and it gave me the 0.00461.  What did I do wrong?

daisybee91 :  Well, even though I got the math wrong (not unusual for me), it is nice to have some different perspective.  I sure wish he wouldn’t be so closed-minded about it.  Maybe you will simply have to buy stacking bands and RHR’s and such, you know, get your sparkle on in other pieces of jewelry!

Post # 29
Member
3093 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

I do understand where he is coming from with not wanting to come off as flashy or show-offy. That is just as valid of a concern as your wanting to keep up a certain image at your work.

At the end of the day, you two need to both move a little closer to the middle and find a compromise you’re both happy with. I do think that if you visit a jeweller together it will be a lot easier for you to try things on and really see how they look/feel on you IRL. Maybe once he sees different rings on your hand he will be less worried about it. He’s probably picturing something massive and gaudy and the idea of something like that puts him off.

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