(Closed) Disappointed

posted 6 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
Member
8516 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

You’ve been engaged a year, I would just let the proposal thing go. You love him? Great! You want to spend the rest of your life with him? Excellent! Focus on planning a lovely wedding and your future together.

Post # 3
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee

Why would he ask you to lie?  That’s bizarre.  Just tell the simple story of you guys getting engaged in a private manner with just the two of you at home.  You can probably cut out the details about porn.  

I’m sorry your proposal wasn’t what you were expecting.  Honestly, I think we are fed a lot of expectations by mainstream media that isn’t realistic for normal men.  

Post # 4
Member
988 posts
Busy bee

If it makes you feel better, my DH proposed in his boxers as were getting ready to go out to breakfast with friends. I didn’t put any stipulations on how I wanted to be proposed to, but he knew I was (still am) a hopeless romantic. I knew he had a ring for the whole year before he gave it me, there were so many times when I thought he would ask but it never happened. I asked him a few months later, why then. His answer was simply because I wasn’t expecting him to. I didn’t find it very romantic, sweet, not romantic. But I have never let him know I was disappointed in how he did it. We’ve been married for 13 years.

Post # 5
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Listen there is so much “hype” about a man proposing.  What happens in the movies doesn’t happen in real life.  It sounds like he did his best with the proposal and the ring.  I don’t think it matters how a SO proposes.  It’s the fact that he is asking you to marry him and you’re building a future together with your best friend.  I can understand why he hasn’t “made it up to you” my guess is he’s afraid of dissapointing you again.  You told him how upset you were the first time.  He could feel that has to come up with a proposal that’s going to “take your breath away” and it has to be 100% perfect to please you.  I think your expectations are too high and its putting a lot pressure on him.  My husband proposed to be while I was washing dishes in the kitchen.  I was in my robe and hadn’t even had a shower.  It’s not the most romantic proposal, I wasn’t upset because I wasn’t expecting it to be like something out of a movie.  He’s not always the best “ideas” guy but I know loves me. We’ve been married since July and I couldn’t be happier.

Post # 6
Member
2013 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
LadyDot:  The only thing that seems odd to me is that you have to lie about the story. What do you tell people? That makes me think he’s embarassed about it as well or something.  Do you have any other misgivings? If not, I’d say let it go and keep the story vague. 

Fiance proposed to me while unloading groceries in our kitchen, lol. It was so sweet but also not a big romantic gesture. He later told me that he had just picked up the ring that evening and he had already waited so long for us to get married that he didn’t want to wait another second to be engaged. I thought that was so sweet.  

Do you feel like he just asked to diffuse the argument or because it was a single emotional moment? I could see why that might cause you to rethink things but if you think he was planning on it anyway and he kind of just blurted it out I’d let it go. 

Post # 7
Member
46 posts
Newbee

Girl, I’ve been with my guy for four years and he’s nowhere near proposing.  Life isn’t always perfect, but he does love you and you’re going to be together.  That’s awesome!!  I’d let the proposal thing go. Maybe he will make it up to you at your next anniversary.  It’s really hard for a guy to propose, and you saying you didn’t like it really did probably take a toll on him.

Post # 8
Member
7440 posts
Busy Beekeeper

It stings now but in the grand scheme of life and the life of your relationship this isnt the most important milestone. How you met, first date, wedding, birth of children, ect will over shadow this. I’m sure he learned his lesson!

Post # 9
Member
1821 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

If you don’t like the way he proposes why don’t you propose to him the way you wished he would have propse to you and than just tell people that story. 

Post # 10
Member
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Id just be happy he proposed. We got engaged. In bed. Before going to sleep one night. No ring. No romance.

Post # 11
Member
2366 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I don’t understand why he makes you lie. But otherwise, don’t think of it as “after porn” think of it as during lovemaking 😉

Post # 12
Member
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

I have had both a crappy proposal and an amazing proposal so I get where your coming from. I waited 5 years for the crappy proposal  I was extremely disapointed and hated telling my engagement story. Like other posters have said if you plan to marry him you need to let this go.

Post # 13
Member
5304 posts
Bee Keeper

Glee has led me to believe that when my SO finally proposes it will be in a too-romantic-for-words setting and he’ll have a back-up choir   But I think terrific romantic make-up sex after a silly fight over bad porn is a cute story!  So it can be your own private joke, I’ll bet you’ll be able to laugh at it down the road. For now though, I think your Fiance is feeling badly because of all the media & movie hype about over-the-top proposals & so he’s embarrassed about how it really played out and wants to enlist you as his partner in keeping the details of your proposal under wraps. He shouldn’t ask you to lie about it though and concoct something that didn’t happen, just omit details as other PP have suggested- just say it was cute and fun and intimate but that the details are just between the two of you 🙂

Post # 14
Hostess
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Fiance proposed to me on our back patio. I was a bottle of wine in and wearing my pajamas. There were no fireworks,  no hidden photographer. Just us. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I think people put so much emphasis on the actual proposal they get disappointed when it doesn’t happen the way pinterest says it should. 

Your story is pretty funny. I wouldn’t be sad about it. Just plan your wedding and be happy. Be thankful you have a great man who’s about to be your husband! It’s a huge deal, don’t get caught up in the silly things. 

Post # 15
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I agree that “proposal stories” are overrated.

the real story can be an inside joke between you two.

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