(Closed) Disappointed

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
865 posts
Busy bee

I understand.  Just rememeber that it’s not like she had this baby to rain on your parade, it was something she planned. wait and see how much attention your wedding gets before saying theyll pay no attention to it. It would be awful rude of them to honor her wedding more than yours so i’d be surprised if that was really the case.  your wedding is special no matter what others say and you always have us bees for support.

Post # 4
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Girl, I hear yah. I had a reaction yesterday in the same vein, though more petty on my part. My mom was at my cousin’s wedding, which I couldn’t attend, the same day I picked out a dress. She barely reacted to the news, then didn’t call all day after I sent her pictures. I freaked out about the, like 18 hours without her validation. I can understand.

I don’t have any advice. I see where you are coming from. This is a huge moment in your life, and now it will be overshadowed, and you aren’t going to get the welcoming to his family that you hoped for. You aren’t a bad person for feeling bad. It’s not like you are mad at the cousin, just a little sad. This may just be one of those things you are sad about to yourself, or to your mom and your friends, but will heal from. It is odd to be dissapointed by the joy of others, but I understand. Just work through it.

Post # 5
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

Wow!  Cousin is awfully confident sharing that she’s pregnant so early.

I’m sorry that she’s going to cast a shadow on everything.  

Post # 6
Hostess
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I understand how you feel but I wouldn’t worry about it that much.  People will not miss out on your wedding just because she is having the baby, since most people aren’t going to be in the room with her.  Yes, they will be excited about the baby but they are going to be excited when your wedding happends too.  Depending on how old his grandparents are, they might not have been able to travel to the wedding anyway.  My only living grandparents weren’t able to because they were both in the 80s and too fragile to travel.

Post # 8
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

What about your side of the family? They are the ones you are already close to and I’m sure they are excited for you. I understand family events taking away from each other….

I think I read something on a board about a best man who couldn’t make it bc his wife was due the same day and they lived far away.

When someone from FI’s family asks if they can help, be ready with some small tasks so they feel included (and then they’ll get excited too).

 

Post # 9
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

Hi date twin! The math doesn’t quite seem to add up with your cousin’s pregnancy…she is definitely announcing it way too early, IMHO!!

I think so many brides feel disappointed because their weddings don’t receive support and attention from their own family, FI’s family, bridal party, etc. I know it must suck, but to put it in perspective, you are far from alone. I feel like these types of posts come up on the boards several times each day!

I don’t find it surprising that your FI’s family made a huge deal over his cousin’s wedding – first, the bride’s family is traditionally more involved and more excited than the groom’s, and second, it was the first wedding in the family among your generation. Honestly, even without the pregnancy, I don’t think your wedding would have ever gotten the same level of attention, nor should it! It would be nice, of course, but all you need is for you and Fiance to be excited and involved.

About your date, I can relate – we got complaints from FI’s fam as well, and they only have to travel like 2.5 hours by car!! We made sure both of our sets of parents were fine with the date and chose it. We won’t be excited if some people choose not to come, but focus instead on those who do choose to join us on that day.

Post # 11
Hostess
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Maybe she did fudge the due date in order to steal your thunder?  I guess you will see if the baby comes a couple weeks before your wedding.

Post # 13
Hostess
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Nope, they don’t know how long she has been pregnant until she has the sonogram and they measure the fetus.  So since she is just guessing on her own, she could be completely wrong!

Post # 14
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Awwww, I’m sorry!!!  One of my good friends is having her baby the day before our wedding and I feel the same.  Even at my bridal shower she was a cranky hormonal mess telling everyone they need to cut the pregnant lady some slack.  I tried to just enjoy the night.

Post # 15
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

Well, does she live far away from you?  Then maybe she won’t come!

Post # 16
Member
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

That’s disappointing, but keep in mind that guys often get the short end of the wedding deal, and so maybe his family isn’t fawning over the wedding because its not a daughter getting married. Pretty lame, but I’ve seen it happen with brothers and sisters a lot. The brother’s wedding = congratulations!. The sister’s wedding = CONGRATULATIONS! WHEN’S THE DATE! WHAT ARE YOUR COLORS! WHAT ARE YOU WEARING and so on and so forth. Totally not the same with every family, of course. That’s just my thought on the matter of maybe why your FH’s family isn’t excited as you wish they were. Either way, the baby is definitely not going to be at your wedding if it’s due the week before, so at least you can be happy to know that when his family is at the wedding, they’re there for you and him, and for no one else. When the day actually comes, all of this backstory won’t matter. Keep that in mind, and try not to let it stress you too much. Smile

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